艾吉尔的萨迦

作者：Snorri Sturluson
英译本翻译：Green, W. C. (1893)
汉译本翻译：乔光宇


第一话
早睡狼和他的孩子们

曾有一人名狼，父名狼皮，母名熊女，外公之名亦为狼，号胆包天，娘舅则是海拉夫尼斯塔（今挪威拉姆斯塔，是大西洋岸边的一个峡湾口的小岛。）的熊身巨魔仔，而其娘舅之子则名叫凯特勒·海因。狼生得高大强壮，一时无双，年轻时以出海打劫为业。和他一起打劫的那伙人中有一人，名叫凯利，来自伯德拉（今挪威巴勒岛。），勇名赫赫，是个披着熊皮袄的狂战士。此二人腹心相照，声气相求，为刎颈之交。

后来他俩洗手不再打劫，凯利回了伯德拉，成了一个大富豪。凯利膝下两男一女，一男名艾闻多，号羊羔，另一男名奥维，号驼背，女儿则名叫莎儿彪珂。莎儿彪珂志行高洁、明艳无双，后来嫁给了狼，住在狼家。话说那狼，有鸦飞不过的田宅，有堆积如山的金银，还继承了祖先的男爵爵位（lendr maðr，古代挪威国王卫队成员的爵位，通常视为等同英国爵位中的男爵。），和祖先一样，是个了不起的人物。狼是个勤谨的富家翁，每日家早早起身，先去工人和铁匠那里巡视一番，又去看看庄稼和农田，若有人向他求教，他便指点一二。狼颇有智，样样都懂，总是一语中窍。夜幕降临后，狼就不答理人了，因为狼喜欢早早睡觉。总是这么早就睡了，加上身板雄健如狼，故而众人号之曰：早睡狼。

早睡狼夫妇膝下两男。长男名索洛夫，次男名格里木。索洛夫长相随其母，丰神俊朗，勇敢过人，相处常使人忘忧，为人慷慨，做事热情洋溢，买卖精明，为众人所爱。格里木则长相随其父，皮肤黝黑，形貌丑陋，思维也很像其父，买卖精明，雅善伐木、掘铁矿，打铁手艺更是出类拔萃。通常，在冬天时，格里木领众家臣捕鲱鱼。

索洛夫不觉二十岁，已可去打劫了。早睡狼给了索洛夫一艘长船。伯德拉的凯利家的二子——艾闻多和奥维，领人众，乘一艘长船来入伙。夏天他们出海，打劫财物，然后把战利品分掉。接下来的几年里，他们夏天一起出海打劫，冬天各自回家陪伴各自的父母。索洛夫带回家大量财宝，都献给了父母，使父母不仅富上加富，声名也更为赫赫。早睡狼渐渐老去，膝下两男都已长大成人。

第二话

当时峡湾地区的国王是奥彪，宇下曾有一个伯爵（jarl，习惯上认为等同于英国爵位系统中的伯爵。实际权力地位相当于英国的公爵，为诸侯国君主。古代挪威，国王以下为伯爵，伯爵以下为男爵。）名叫赫罗艾德。赫罗艾德传位其子索里。

索里传位其子瘦子阿特里。瘦子阿特里住在高拉（在挪威高拉河畔某处。），膝下三男一女，三男分别名叫：豪斯登、赫尔墨斯登、哈斯登，女儿名叫素薇，号美人。

有一年秋天，众人聚于高拉，参加祭祀节日。驼背奥维遇美人素薇于高拉，遂献殷勤。其后，奥维向她求婚。不过伯爵觉得，如此未免委屈了女儿，乃拒之。奥维对素薇魂牵梦绕，不愿再出海打劫，羊羔艾闻多和索洛夫只好丢下他自行出海。此后，奥维不觉写了很多情诗。

第三话

哈拉德继承其父黑脸丹麦仔的王位。哈拉德发誓说：一日不一统挪威，一日不理发（不修剪不梳理）。于是众人号之曰：蓬首。哈拉德先攻邻国，成功地征服了接壤诸国，接下来便开始远征。他将高地地区（在挪威首都奥斯陆的北面。）纳入囊中，继续北进，兵锋直指特隆赫姆，一路征战，征服了整个特伦德拉格地区。

接下来，哈拉德北上纳姆丹（挪威纳姆森河的河谷地区，位于挪威中部。），攻纳姆丹的国王哈罗伊和赫罗洛奇两兄弟。二王知哈拉德将至，哈罗伊走进用三个冬天建造的坟丘，杜墓门，从死之士十二。赫罗洛奇则弃王位，自贬为伯爵，向哈拉德降顺，成了哈拉德宇下的封臣。自此，哈拉德征服了纳姆丹和霍努伽兰（位于挪威纳姆森河的河谷地区与林因峡湾之间，为挪威最北端。），将土地分封。

之后，哈拉德引军登船南下，奇袭默勒和鲁姆斯达尔（今挪威默勒-鲁姆斯达尔郡，在挪威西部地区的最北端。）。

北默勒和鲁姆斯达尔的国王是罗圈腿索维，其父胡尼奥夫。索维不战而走，奔南默勒，向南默勒的国王安维阿求救。其辞曰：“今以兵窘寡人者，不日亦将窘大王矣。寡人知哈拉德之欲，非区区北默勒和鲁姆斯达尔所能填。大王若欲保全财产与自由，则必与寡人同气相求，亦将遣使四邻而求救矣。苟如此，寡人愿为大王前驱，同抗哈拉德之横暴。或曰，大王或效纳姆丹王之迎降，自贬为臣仆，屈身作封臣。先王曾有言曰，与其临老而为臣，何如戴王冠而一死。寡人以为，天下勇健，所见略同，故敢布腹心。”

安维阿以为然，决心集结兵力，迎战哈拉德。安维阿与索维会盟，又遣使至峡湾地区的国王奥彪处，求其参战。奥彪与众商议，许之，遣使全国征兵，招宇下诸贵族引兵来赴。

王使来至早睡狼前，令早睡狼引全部家臣，急赴此役。早睡狼答曰：“境内有警，引兵赴之，固臣之职事也。北上默勒，赴他国之戎，恐非臣之职事也。故臣将安坐家中，不赴此役。臣以为，不可举兵与蓬首哈拉德为敌。此人运势极强，恐非吾王所能当。”

使者只得回报国王：早睡狼安坐家中，不肯出兵。

第四话

奥彪引兵北上，至南默勒，与安维阿、罗圈腿索维合兵一处，军容甚壮。哈拉德引军南下，两军合战于索蟹儿岛（今挪威默勒-鲁姆斯达尔郡艾于勒市辖区，岛屿面积约为5平方公里。）。双方一场鏖战，皆死伤惨重。联军一方，国王安维阿与国王奥彪阵亡，国王索维逃走，此后成为大海盗，往来劫掠哈拉德的领地，摧夷甚多，众人号之曰：罗圈腿。哈拉德一方则二伯爵阵亡，其名为阿斯伽尤图、阿斯彪，哈孔那伯爵之二子阵亡，其名为格鲁特伽旅、哈佬驹，此外还有很多壮士阵亡。哈拉德遂有南默勒。

奥彪的兄弟维蒙都继位为峡湾地区之王。时已入秋，众人劝谏哈拉德：秋潮已至，不宜南下。哈拉德使容恩奥伯爵镇默勒和鲁姆斯达尔，大部分军力仍自己统领。

那年秋天，阿特里的三个儿子引众在驼背奥维的居所设伏，只差一点点就取了驼背奥维的性命。驼背奥维见众寡不敌，便逃之夭夭。他逃到默勒，觐见哈拉德，向他效忠。哈拉德引军北归特隆赫姆，驼背奥维与哈拉德同行，不觉成为哈拉德最亲密的朋友。此后很长时间，驼背奥维一直都在哈拉德身边，成了哈拉德的宫廷诗人。

那年冬天，容恩奥伯爵引兵从一条名叫“艾以”的海路旁路南下，遣间谍侦察国王维蒙都的行踪，知其在奈于斯特达尔宴饮。于是夜袭，围其屋而纵火，焚杀维蒙都及其麾下九十人。此后， 伯德拉的凯利引满满一长船的人众归附容恩奥伯爵，与伯爵一起北归默勒。容恩奥伯爵俘获了国王维蒙都所有的船只和所有能找到的财宝。随后，伯德拉的凯利北上特隆赫姆，觐见哈拉德，向他效忠。

第二年春天，哈拉德引军登船，沿海岸线南下，征服那些峡湾和山区，将土地分封。原来的峡湾地区王国被分封给赫鲁奥伯爵。

哈拉德对投奔他的男爵和大地主非常谨慎，常怀疑这些人可能背叛。投奔他的男爵和大地主有两种结果，或者被哈拉德收为封臣，或者被放逐到国外，有时候还会有第三种结果，即被处刑——或被斩断一肢，或被处死。 哈拉德宣称：所有世代传承的土地，所有已开垦或可开垦的耕地以及所有海洋和淡水湖都属于国王，所有地主都是国王的封臣，所有森林里的人、盐工、猎户、渔户，不管是在陆地上还是在海洋里谋生，都要服国王的役。

很多人逃去国外，避此暴政。逃亡者开垦了海外的荒地，比如耶姆特兰（在瑞典北部）和海尔辛兰（在瑞典中部）的东部地区、西方土地（挪威西面的诸岛屿）、赫布里底群岛、爱尔兰的都柏林、苏格兰的凯瑟尼斯、不列颠的设得兰。冰岛就是那时候被发现的。

第五话

哈拉德系舟于峡湾地区，遣使招那些哈拉德有意招揽但尚未来觐见的当地人物来觐见。

使者至早睡狼处，早睡狼善遇之。使者阐明来意，言哈拉德招早睡狼觐见之事。使者说：“公家世有勇名，绵延至公，此王所素闻。王有富贵，愿与天下勇健共之，此王之素愿。公疾入见，王将荣公。”

早睡狼辞以老朽，衰躯既不能战亦不能乘舟。言：“愚唯安坐家中耳，实无力事君王。”

使者说：“仆观公子高大，必勇武之人。何如遣公子一行？”又对格里木说：“公子事王，王必封公子男爵。”

格里木辞之曰：“不肖已事家父，家父即吾主。吾主在，不敢受他人封赏。”

使者将早睡狼父子之言回报哈拉德。哈拉德郁郁沉吟，问曰：“此志行高洁乎？此心有异志乎？”

驼背奥维在旁，劝哈拉德不必动怒，言：“臣愿一行，明吾王心意，必能说早睡狼来见。”

驼背奥维来至早睡狼处，告诉说：哈拉德愠怒，若父子皆不觐见，则祸将至；若觐见，则享尊荣。驼背奥维还告诉早睡狼父子：哈拉德为人慷慨，从之者得富贵，非虚言。

早睡狼回答说：“愚父子事王，兆皆不祥，故不愿行。唯索洛夫吉于远行，惜夏不在家，愿遣其事王。愚于王，是友非敌，奉愚号令之人，皆于王是友非敌。愚愿事王如事前王。若王能容愚，则愚之忠心，日久自见。愿公布愚心于王前。”

奥维返回，告诉哈拉德：早睡狼有另一子更出色，只是不在家，将遣另一子来见。哈拉德便将此事放下。夏，哈拉德前往内陆的松恩；秋，哈拉德去特隆赫姆。

第六话

秋，早睡狼之子索洛夫和羊羔艾闻多海上打劫归来。索洛夫来至父亲身边，父子一番深谈。

索洛夫问父亲，哈拉德遣使，所为何事。早睡狼告诉说：国王要求父子中一人觐见并效力麾下。

“当时父亲如何回答？”索洛夫问道。

“愚父以实话告知，愚父不愿效力国王，亦不希望二儿效力国王。概因愚父以为，愚父子效力国王之回报，除了毁灭以外别无他物。”

“此事，”索洛夫说，“儿以为不然。儿以为效力国王可得富贵。儿愿觐见国王，效力麾下。若儿所闻传言为真，则国王卫队乃天下勇健，骁锐海内无双，与其同游，加入其中，实儿之愿。儿亦听闻，国王对麾下赏赐极丰，苟能立功，拔擢分封亦毫不犹豫。儿还得知，不肯加入，拒绝觐见者，都已赤贫，有些乘桴浮于海，有些沦为佣工。儿素知父亲，明智进取之人也，国王礼请而不应者何也？若父亲已得神谕，知国王将不利吾家，则其为吾家之敌，而前王招父亲参战时，父亲又因何拒绝？既不与其为敌，又不与其为友，何也？”

“因为，”早睡狼回答说，“愚父当时已预知，北上默勒迎战蓬首哈拉德，必不能胜；现在，愚父亦同样预知，事哈拉德将大伤吾家。索洛夫，此事汝可自作决定。汝之勇力已能和人间最强者比肩，愚父不担心汝是否够格进国王卫队。只是要小心，凡事不可逾矩，不可犯上，不可胆小怕事，当然愚父知汝非胆小之人。

索洛夫决定觐见国王。早睡狼依依惜别，一路相送至船。在船上，父子拥抱而别离。早睡狼祝祷，愿索洛夫一路顺风，父子早日再见。

第七话
彪高夫一家

霍努伽兰曾有一人名叫彪高夫，住在托伽（现挪威诺尔兰郡布伦讷于市的托格岛），是个男爵，富而勇健。此人力大无穷，身材高大，好似山丘巨人的孩子。有一子，名布林优夫，肖其父。彪高夫渐渐年老，妻子去世，便将产业交给儿子打理，自又续弦一妻，妻名叫海尔伽，父亲是海拉夫尼斯塔的凯特勒·海因。彪高夫与续弦之妻膝下一男，名叫宝维。宝维高大英俊，是勇敢之士。

某年秋，众人聚而宴饮。彪高夫父子是那场盛宴的贵宾。入夜时，按照古老的习俗，他们抽签结伴同饮。当时宾客中有一人名叫赫格尼，在莱卡(今挪威特伦德拉格郡莱卡市）有一农庄，其人巨富、英俊、机智，只是出身低微，是白手起家的。赫格尼有一女极美，名叫希尔德莉娅，抽签结果正好与彪高夫同饮。那夜，二人畅谈甚欢，老爷子爱上了美丽的少女。之后席散无话。

就在那年秋天，彪高夫引三十人，登上自己的一艘小船，离家而行。船至莱卡，留十人守船，自引二十人前行。行至赫格尼的农庄，赫格尼出屋欢迎，邀彪高夫及其麾下人众入屋歇脚。彪高夫接受了邀请，引众入屋。在屋里，他们脱下旅行装，着斗篷。赫格尼下令，蒙伽酒（酒名mungát，字面意思是悦口之物。挪威的古老啤酒，至今仍存。）伺候，又使主人之女希尔德莉娅，亲为宾客斟酒。

彪高夫称赫格尼为好人赫格尼，开口说：“不才此行之意，愿娶贵千金归家，若得首肯，愿行婚礼于此。”

赫格尼无奈，只得如其所愿。彪高夫以一盎司黄金为聘，娶希尔德莉娅，带她回到托伽。长子布林优夫对此婚事不悦。

彪高夫与希尔德莉娅膝下二男，一名郝乐库，一名海乐库。

此后不久，彪高夫去世，遗躯还没下葬，希尔德莉娅母子三人就遭布林优夫驱逐。希尔德莉娅归莱卡，将二子养育成人。她的两个儿子都容貌英俊、身材不高、天生机智、肖母系亲属。众人称之为：希尔德莉娅二子。布林优夫完全不理睬他们，没有分给他们任何遗产。希尔德莉娅是赫格尼的继承人，故而母子三人继承了赫格尼的家产，住在莱卡，家豪富。彪高夫的另一子宝维和希尔德莉娅二子不觉都已长大成人。一直以来，彪高夫和其子布林优夫执掌去芬兰的关口，负责检查来往人众并征收关税。

在霍努伽兰的北境，有一个名叫韦夫斯尼（在挪威诺尔兰郡韦夫斯恩市）的峡湾，峡湾中有个岛屿，名叫阿洛斯[现挪威阿尔斯腾岛（Alsten）]。其岛广大，土地肥沃，上有一农庄，名叫桑内西。那里有一人，名叫西格德，为挪威北境首富。此人是男爵，慧而有智，膝下一女，名叫西格莉娅，身为当地首富的独生女，被众人视为霍努伽兰最佳求婚对象。

彪高夫的次子宝维引三十人，乘一小舟离家，北行至阿洛斯，来到桑内西，拜访西格德。宝维阐明来意，向西格莉娅求婚。西格德喜而许之。于是订婚，约次年夏结婚。约定来年夏，宝维北上迎娶西格莉娅。

第八话 

夏，哈拉德下令，招霍努伽兰尚未来见的豪强觐见。布林优夫决定觐见，宝维同行。秋，他们南下来到特隆赫姆，觐见国王。国王大悦。布林优夫被封为男爵，还增加了权力。国王不仅让他管辖来往芬兰的商旅，还让他奉王命管辖来往山区与芬兰之间的商旅。其后，布林优夫归，宝维留，加入国王卫队。 

国王卫队的座位高度仅次于王座，而在国王卫队中，最得国王青眼的是宫廷诗人。坐在最里首最靠近王座处的是坏诗人奥盾（此人曾被捉到抄袭他人诗歌，故而得此号。），他曾是哈拉德的父亲黑脸丹麦仔的宫廷诗人，同时也最年长，然后是乌鸦索彪，然后是驼背奥维，然后就是宝维。当时，众人有的称宝维为白脸宝维，有的称宝维为壮士宝维。宝维深为众人所爱，而宝维最亲密的朋友则是驼背奥维。 

那年秋，早睡狼之子索洛夫和伯德拉的凯利的儿子羊羔艾闻多前来觐见，得友好接待。他俩乘坐一艘轻快的二十座斯奈卡长船（Snekkja，一舷有二十桨至三十桨的维京长船。这里的二十座是单舷二十个桨手座位，整船有四十个桨手座位，外加一个舵手座位。），桨手满员，这艘船就是他们出海打劫用的船。他俩和他俩的部属被安排在客房住下，等待觐见。在这期间，有伯德拉的凯利和驼背奥维和他们一起。其后，他们得觐见国王。 

驼背奥维说：“此为早睡狼之子，臣在夏季时曾言，早睡狼将遣子觐见。大王面前之人，即早睡狼所承诺之子也。遣子事王，忠臣也。臣愿大王千金市马骨，尊荣索洛夫，以慰天下忠臣之心。” 

国王以为然，答应驼背奥维说：“只要索洛夫能立功，证其勇健，非徒具壮伟之形而无实。” 

于是索洛夫进入宫廷，加入国王卫队。伯德拉的凯利和羊羔艾闻多则登上索洛夫来时乘坐的那艘二十座斯奈卡长船，回到凯利家的农庄。索洛夫留在国王身边，他的座位在奥维和宝维之间。这三个人遂成密友。 

众人以为，索洛夫和宝维二人，在英俊、高大、力量和勇毅方面齐驾并驱，好似双璧。两人都深得国王的宠爱。 

冬天过去，夏季来临，宝维欲请假，以完成去年夏天订下的婚约。宝维言于国王，国王准之。宝维邀索洛夫一起北行，说：希望能带索洛夫见自己的亲人，家族中有几位著名人物，索洛夫尚未谋面，未曾相识。这邀请正合索洛夫之意，于是他俩一起离开宫廷，找了一艘很好的船，备好船员，出发。他们先来到托伽，遣人告诉西格德：宝维将如约前来完婚。西格德回答说：愿一切如约而行。敲定了婚礼的日子，宝维一行将按时北上桑内西。 

布林优夫和宝维如约出发，很多族中壮士同行。如宝维所言，索洛夫此行新结识了很多宝维家族中的人物。 他们来到桑内西，在那里举办了一场极盛大的婚宴。婚宴结束后，宝维带着新婚妻子回家，在家里度过了整个夏天，索洛夫也和他们一起。秋，他们南下回到国王身边，在国王身边度过冬天。 

就在那个冬天，布林优夫去世，宝维得知自己是继承人，便请假回家。国王许之。在离开国王之前，宝维被封为男爵，和他父亲的爵位一样，还被国王授予所有曾授予布林优夫的权力。宝维回到家，立刻就成了一个大豪强。希尔德莉娅和她的儿子们还是和之前一样，一点家产都没分到。宝维和妻子膝下一子，起名叫格里木。与此同时，索洛夫则在国王身边倍享尊荣。

第九话

哈拉德王下令全国征兵，集结船队，将全国各处之兵集结一处。哈拉德引军从特隆赫姆出发，转而南行。路上，哈拉德得知，阿格德尔（今挪威阿格德尔郡，在挪威最南端。）、罗加兰（今挪威罗加兰郡，在挪威西南端。）、霍达兰（今属于挪威韦斯特兰郡，在挪威西南部地区。）也全境征兵，从内陆地区一直到东面的维克地区（Vík，维京时代指挪威与瑞典西南交界处的海峡与丹麦的日德兰半岛。），征集了很多壮士，决心守土，迎战哈拉德。

哈拉德引大军乘舟南下，国王卫队与哈拉德同舟。早睡狼之子索洛夫、白脸宝维、伯德拉的凯利的两个儿子驼背奥维和羊羔艾闻多的座位在王舟船首，其后坐着十二名披熊皮的狂战士，狂战士皆持单刃剑。两军船队相遇于罗加兰的哈弗峡湾（Hafr's Firth），于是大战。此役为哈拉德至此所遇的最大规模战斗，双方皆死伤惨重。王舟一马当先，发起冲锋，战局曾一时胜负难分，最后哈拉德得胜。阿格德尔的国王长下巴索热战死，富豪克由德威则引众逃走，在此役结束后归降。哈拉德军计点人数，发现很多人阵亡，很多人受伤。索洛夫重伤，宝维伤势更为严重。座位在王舟桅杆前的众人皆带伤，唯独披熊皮的狂战士无伤，原来他们免疫铁器伤害。国王使众人包扎伤口，感谢他们的勇行，赏赐并称赞那些勇敢出众者。国王向众人承诺更多的光荣，把一些人提拔为舵手，把一些人的座位提升到船首处。这是哈拉德统一挪威的最后一战，此后就再也没有人抵抗了，他终于成了全挪威的国王（蓬首哈拉德理发后，人称秀发哈拉德）。国王下令治疗伤员，以传统礼仪埋葬战死者。

索洛夫和宝维皆伤，索洛夫的伤势渐渐好转，宝维的伤却无可挽救。宝维呼唤国王至身边，对国王说：“臣伤或不治，愿王许臣自择继承者。”

得到国王首肯之后，宝维说：“索洛夫，臣之友，臣之亲。愿使索洛夫继承臣之全部家财，土地、财物尽继承之。愿使索洛夫娶臣遗孀，抚臣遗孤。于众人中，臣最信索洛夫。”

国王以王权许可并确认了这项遗嘱。不久，宝维去世，下葬，众人大哀。索洛夫则伤势好转，追随在国王身边，得到巨大荣耀。

秋，国王北归特隆赫姆。索洛夫请求北上霍努伽兰，处理夏天时宝维的遗赠。国王允之，授予索洛夫一份王命和国王信物。王命曰：宝维遗愿得寡人首肯，寡人令众人遵而行之。国王封索洛夫为男爵，将原来授予宝维的那些权力转授索洛夫，同样负责来往芬兰的商旅。国王给了索洛夫一艘很好的长船，索具完善，还给索洛夫备足所有旅行所需之物，无不尽善尽美。索洛夫与国王依依惜别，登船出发。

索洛夫北行至托伽，得众人欢迎。索洛夫宣布：宝维已故，遗嘱将全部土地与财物赠己，并使己娶宝维遗孀。然后便将王命与国王信物呈示。

西格莉娅闻之，因丧夫而大悲。至于嫁索洛夫之事，西格莉娅与索洛夫早已相识，素知索洛夫出类拔萃，这场婚约对西格莉娅有利，更兼王命如此，故而西格莉娅对与索洛夫订婚没有什么不愿意的，只要征得西格莉娅的父亲的同意即可。索洛夫接管了宝维的全部财产，接掌了宝维负责的那些海关事务。

其后不久，索洛夫登长船，引六十人出发，沿海岸线北上。于某日黄昏，抵达阿洛斯的桑内西。他们将船泊好，扎下营帐，安排好诸事。索洛夫引二十人前往农庄。在宝维婚礼期间，西格德已经和索洛夫相识而且亲密，故而西格德欢迎索洛夫，邀请众人入屋。索洛夫与其麾下人众走进长屋，得盛情款待。

西格德坐下，与索洛夫交谈，询问消息。索洛夫述夏季在南方的那场大战，很多西格德的旧相识战死，西格德之婿宝维伤重不治之事。两人大悲。索洛夫说出宝维的遗嘱，拿出王命和国王的信物。索洛夫向西格德请求，允己迎娶其女西格莉娅。西格德悦而许之，因王命如此，宝维遗愿如此，更兼他熟知索洛夫，知其为爱女佳偶。西格德同意之后，便订下婚约，约定秋天在托伽举行婚礼。

索洛夫引众回到他在托伽的家宅，在那里准备一场盛大婚宴（古代维京婚姻以婚宴为见证，宾客为人证，宾客送的礼物为物证。），广邀宾客，邀请了很多亲人，其中不乏赫赫有名的人物。

西格德亦引众乘一舟南下，很多人参加这场婚宴。众人发现索洛夫非常慷慨。索洛夫身边有大量家臣，需要庞大的开支和粮食补给，不过那年年景很好，故而粮食补给不成问题。

那年冬，西格德在桑内西去世。索洛夫继承了西格德的全部家产，那可是一笔庞大的财富。

这时，希尔德莉娅二子来访，声称：父亲彪高夫留下的家产，他们也该有份。

索洛夫回答说：“布林优夫，鄙人素知，宝维，鄙人挚友，皆慷慨之人。若彼等认为君等有继承权，早已分家产予君等。当年，君等向宝维要求继承权时，鄙人亦在场，宝维言，君等非婚生子，无继承权，乃鄙人亲耳所闻。”

郝乐库说：有证人可证明，母亲是有聘礼而婚的。

“仆等未向家兄布林优夫提出继承要求，因亲亲谦让之义。仆等向家兄宝维请求继承权，因仆等愿得应有之权利，仆等并未纠缠。今日，仆家之产已在外人手中，故不能闭口不言仆等所受不公。若公能听取证言，则自知仆等出身光明正大，理应有权继承家产。”

索洛夫不觉嗔怒：“鄙人闻令堂乃武力抢来，以俘虏身份带回家中，何婚生子之有？”

他们的交谈自此结束。

第十话
索洛夫在芬马克（现属于挪威特罗姆斯-芬马克郡）

冬天，索洛夫引至少九十名家臣前往山区，而习惯上，地方长官出行时的随从不超过三十人。索洛夫带了很多贸易品。索洛夫和芬人会面，接受芬人的贡赋，和芬人互市。尽管一切都进行得很友善，芬人仍然心怀畏惧。

索洛夫在芬马克四处旅行，至东部山区，得知有个名叫奇林伽的人，引众从东来，目的是和芬人贸易，不过若有打劫的机会也不会放过。索洛夫遣芬人侦知奇林伽的行踪，亲引兵追袭。在一个山洞里堵住三十名奇林伽的部下，尽杀之，无一人得脱，之后又遇到十五人至二十人一股的奇林伽的其余部下，亦尽杀之。前后所杀近百人，虏获大量财物。此后入春，索洛夫引众返回。索洛夫来到桑内西的宅邸，在那里度过春天。索洛夫下令建造一艘巨大的长船，船首有一龙首雕刻，装饰极尽华丽。造好后，索洛夫即乘此巨船南归。

索洛夫从霍努伽兰收集了大量物资，又派遣家臣捕鲱鱼及各种鱼类，那里有很多海豹，故而还狩猎海豹，此外还搜集鸟蛋，如此收集了很多食物。在索洛夫家中，曾为奴后被释的自由民的数量从来没有少于百人。索洛夫非常慷慨，喜欢结交勇士，家附近的勇健之士，皆与索洛夫为友。索洛夫不觉成为一个豪强。索洛夫还很在意船只、器具、武器，诸物无不精良。

第十一话

索洛夫设宴款待国王

夏，哈拉德王来到霍努伽兰，一路宴会，或在王室所有的宅邸里，或在当地男爵或大地主的宅邸里。

国王出巡索洛夫家的日子敲定后，索洛夫就开始一掷千金地准备盛宴。索洛夫邀请了海量宾客，但凡是个人物，只要能被索洛夫找到，都被邀请了。国王赴宴时，带了三百名随从，而索洛夫则召集了五百人之众。长屋不能容下这么多人，故而索洛夫把宴会地点选在一个大谷仓『本萨伽的作者是后世的冰岛人，忘记了当时霍努伽兰并没有什么农业，不可能有大谷仓。故而“谷仓”应该是杜撰，应该只是一个大屋子。Jessen, C. A. E.. Über die Glaubwurdigkeit der Egils-Saga und anerer Isländer-Sagas (p. 80).』里。众人的盾牌挂满了谷仓的四壁。

国王的座位最高，当最靠近国王座位的众人入席时，国王四顾而色变，虽没有说话，但众人皆觉察到国王有怒意。这是一场盛宴，菜肴尽善尽美，可是国王却郁郁寡欢。按照行程安排，国王在索洛夫家停留三晚。在国王离开的那天，索洛夫送别国王，提出一路相送到海边。国王同意。在海边，停泊着索洛夫建造的那艘巨大的龙首长船，船的帐篷和索具皆一应俱全。索洛夫将龙首长船献给国王，向国王解释：他邀请大量宾客的本心是向国王致敬，绝无异心。国王接受了解释，颜色转霁。众人纷纷帮索洛夫说话：称赞宴会丰盛；临别的礼物真是了不起；有如此之人辅佐，是王室之福。索洛夫与国王依依惜别。

国王按照计划巡视了霍努伽兰，夏季将结束时南归，一路宴会。

第十二话

希尔德利娅二子进谗言

希尔德莉娅二子觐见国王，邀请国王参加为期三晚的宴会。国王接受邀请，定下日子。在约定的日子，国王引随从去希尔德莉娅二子处赴宴。希尔德莉娅二子邀请的宾客不多，宴会进行得很顺利，国王显得很开心。郝乐库与国王交谈，询问国王夏天巡视诸处时的那些宴会如何。

国王回答说：在各处皆得盛情款待，无不如意合心。

“此等宴会其实颇有不同，”郝乐库说，“臣料索洛夫所办之宴会，宾客定然最众。”

国王回答说：然也。

郝乐库说：“索洛夫不惜巨费而宴，其行可疑。吾王鸿运，故幸免于难。臣闻吾王见宾客众盛而起疑，令随从众人昼夜警惕，不卸武装，此诚主明而天佑，否则必不能脱。”

国王乃熟视郝乐库：“何出此言，郝乐库，何出此言？”

郝乐库说：“吾王恕臣直言，臣乃敢言。”

“但言无妨。”国王回答。

“臣有一谬见，”郝乐库说，“吾王或不以为然。吾王之治，多有人以为严，此辈在家中无忌时，多称吾王为暴君。此辈之所以尚未起兵叛逆，徒因无勇更兼群龙无首耳。索洛夫自视极高，势力强大，素得众心，家臣众多，比拟君王，家势豪富，不仅坐拥自家应有之财，还得兼并他人之富，取之尽锱铢，豪掷如泥沙。彼之大权，吾王所授，而吾王之恩，彼将仇报。臣之言，字字皆真。当时，彼等得知，吾王引不足三百人之众而巡霍努伽兰，乃聚而计划，欲集兵而弑吾王，尽杀吾王随从人众。索洛夫即为会议主谋，众人向彼许诺，事成后拥立彼为霍努伽兰和纳姆丹之王。会议后，索洛夫遍访各峡湾，诸岛屿，尽招胜兵者并征集军械。彼将以此军与哈拉德王战，为当地众所周知之事。岂料，吾王所引之兵虽少，然索洛夫所集之众皆村夫，竟望王舟而溃遁。于是彼等改变计划，以好相迎，诱吾王入宴，欲趁王众醉卧时火攻。有一事可证臣所言不虚，彼等之所以设宴款待吾王于谷仓，实因新造之长屋美轮美奂，索洛夫惜之，不忍付之一炬。更有一事可证臣所言非虚，索洛夫宅邸中，每一房间皆堆满武器盔甲。彼等诡计皆为吾王所破，无奈之下，别无选择，只得弃其逆谋。臣知众人皆与此逆谋，未参与者寥寥，故王若询之众人，必遭众口一辞，纷然抵赖。臣有一计，愿吾王招索洛夫，留于身边，使彼服役于国王卫队，使彼掌王军旗，使彼坐于王舟船首，此等职位与彼最为相宜；若必封彼为男爵，则将彼封到南部的峡湾地区，彼家人尽在峡湾地区；如此，吾王可知其动向，可免末大必折、尾大不掉之祸。霍努伽兰之事务，宜选谦逊忠诚，家族在本地，有相关经验之人主持。若吾王需要，臣兄弟二人愿效微劳。先父曾长期主持王事，在其执事时，关市繁荣。霍努伽兰非吾王所常至，故若选外人管理，则其力不足以服本地之众，须得留兵镇之。本地之众心怀叵测，若吾王再次亲临，切不可如此轻舟简从。”

国王闻言大怒，像往常得到重要情报时那样，沉默不语久之。国王问索洛夫现在是否在托伽的家里。郝乐库回答说：不可能。

“索洛夫，”郝乐库说，“智谋之士，岂会留在吾王够得着之处？其应已猜到吾王识破逆谋，闻吾王南下，必北避阿洛斯矣。”

国王罕对他人谈及此事，但不难发现，国王倾向于相信那些话。

宴会后，国王离开，希尔德莉娅二子送别国王，并献上礼物，国王向彼等承诺：已得国王友谊。此后，这对兄弟常以办事之名去纳姆丹，寻机觐见国王，他们的进言总是得到国王听取。

第十三话

索吉觐见国王

索洛夫麾下有一自由民武侍（húskarl。北欧贵族身边的武装侍卫，若是自由民身份则称为húskarl，若是奴隶身份则称为þræll。），名叫索吉，号大吼，位居众家臣之首。以前索洛夫出海打劫时，此人的座位在船首处，而且是军旗掌旗官。此人也参加了哈弗峡湾之战，为索洛夫过去打劫时用的那艘船的舵手。索吉勇敢强健，战斗结束后得到国王的赏赐和友谊。当索洛夫不在托伽的时候，索吉负责守家，托伽一切事务皆由索吉定夺。

这一次，索洛夫在离开托伽之前，点计了从山区得到的给国王的贡赋，将这些贡赋交给索吉保管，对索吉下令：若自己不能在国王南归前回到托伽，则由索吉负责将这批贡赋运送给国王。于是索吉择一艘大船，将贡赋搬运上船，亲引二十人登船南航，向国王所在之处行驶，遇国王于纳姆丹。

索吉觐见国王，转达索洛夫的致敬，代表索洛夫献上芬兰贡赋。国王熟视索吉，沉默无语，众人发现国王满脸怒色。索吉退下，以为是觐见的时机不对。此后，索吉拜访驼背奥维，告诉奥维觐见国王时的异状，问奥维是否知道原因。

“愚亦不明所以。”奥维回答说，“然愚留意到，自莱卡之行后，但凡有人提到索洛夫，吾王皆沉吟不语。故愚猜想，必有小人中伤。愚知希尔德莉娅二子曾与吾王长谈，而此二人平时言谈中对索洛夫满怀怨恨，其心一目了然。愚当即刻入见，以明此事。”

于是奥维觐见国王，说：“大吼索吉，吾王之友，其携芬兰贡赋而来。贡赋丰盛，前所未有；品质卓越，远胜往昔。索吉恭候吾王点计。贡赋甚佳，吾王何不一观？贡赋中有一些灰色毛皮，品质之佳，实臣平生仅见。”

国王还是沉吟不语，但听从奥维，登船查看贡赋。索吉立即向国王献上那些毛皮。国王见奥维所言不虚，贡赋的确比往昔更多更佳，一直紧锁的双眉终于有些松开了。索吉得以和国王交谈。他代表索洛夫向国王献上从山区得到的熊皮以及很多珍贵物品。国王颜色转霁，询问索吉关于索洛夫引其麾下在北境旅行之事。索吉将那次北境之旅详细禀告。

国王说：“惜哉，索洛夫之挟逆心欲弑寡人也。”

当时在场众人皆众口一辞，向国王分辩：小人中伤，索洛夫必无此心。国王说：但愿如此。国王和索吉相谈甚欢，索吉又获得了国王的友谊。

其后，索吉回到索洛夫身边，告诉索洛夫所见所闻。

第十四话

索洛夫再访芬马克

那年冬，索洛夫引家臣百人，再访芬马克。和上一次一样，索洛夫先和芬人互市，然后引众在芬马克巡行。就在索洛夫来到芬马克最东面边境时，其行被邻国得知，有数名克玟人【Kven。克玟兰（Kvenland），古国也。位置在波的尼亚海湾（Bothnian Bay）的西海岸地区。对克玟兰有很多猜测，一说是芬人部族，一说是瑞典人部族，更有一说认为是希腊神话中的亚马逊人。“kven”在古挪威语中的词义是“女人”，一说英语中的女王（queen）一词的词源即是qwen，其为kven的另一种拼法。在本萨伽中，克玟兰是国王统治，但有一些其他北欧史籍提到克玟兰的统治者是女王。】来访，自称为克玟兰国王法拉维斯所遣，言：基里奥拉人（其国基里奥拉兰，是现代的卡累利阿地区。）劫掠其土；请求索洛夫助战；若得胜，分享战利品时，索洛夫得王者之份，索洛夫麾下一人得克玟人两人之份。所谓王者之份，按克玟兰法，分享战利品时，国王得全部的三分之一以及所有熊皮和貂皮。索洛夫将此事告知麾下众人，由众人公议决定是否参战。因为回报丰厚，所以选择参战的人占多数。于是决定随克玟使节东行（克玟兰在芬马克南面，敌人在克玟兰东面。其实是先南后东而行。）。

芬马克形状细长，西面是海，有很多大峡湾，东面和北面也是海，南面则是挪威。芬马克伸展很长，在南面几乎和挪威所有内陆地区都接壤，还和临海的霍努伽兰接壤。纳姆丹的东面是耶姆特兰（瑞典旧省耶姆特兰省），再往东是海尔辛兰（瑞典旧省海尔辛兰省），海尔辛兰的东面是克玟兰，再往东是芬兰，芬兰东面是基里奥拉兰。这些地区的北面皆和芬马克接壤。芬马克多山，多大湖，湖畔长满广袤的森林，山民多居住在山谷和湖畔，基里山（斯堪的纳维亚山脉）绵延芬马克全境。

索洛夫引众来到克玟兰，与国王法拉维斯会合，万事俱备，合兵前进。联军兵力是克玟兰王军三百加上挪威军一百。联军北上取道芬马克而东进，遇之前劫掠克玟兰的基里奥拉军于山区。基里奥拉人闻有兵来袭，便集结来迎，自以为必胜。两军相接，挪威军奋勇向前，而挪威盾坚不可摧，非克玟盾所能比。基里奥拉军之阵为挪威军所摧，其军死伤惨重，余皆蹿逃。国王法拉维斯和索洛夫掠得大量战利品，同归克玟兰。此后，索洛夫引众回芬马克，与国王法拉维斯结为好友而别。

索洛夫引众沿山南下至韦夫斯尼，再去桑内西小住。春天时，引众回到托伽。

索洛夫在托伽得知，希尔德莉娅二子整个冬天都在特隆赫姆，在哈拉德王的身边，不断中伤索洛夫，他们的中伤都毫无根据。索洛夫说：“诬蔑鄙人谋逆，纯粹捕风捉影。吾王于臣，恩重而无怨，吾王岂会为此等谎话虚言所欺？鄙人纵有害王之力，亦绝无害王之心。鄙人为男爵甚乐，并无觊觎王位。若非吾王知遇之恩，鄙人事他人不过奴隶武侍终耳。”

第十五话

希尔德莉娅二子引十二名家臣，皆其家人与邻居，整个冬天都和哈拉德王一起。这对兄弟常常和国王交谈，每次都诋毁索洛夫。郝乐库问：“索洛夫献芬人贡赋，王心悦乎？”

“悦。”国王回答。

“此本吾王之物，何足道。索洛夫所献之物虽丰，然不过其所有之九牛一毛耳。臣知彼家有熊皮三十张，而所献不过三张。他物亦复如是。若吾王使臣兄弟二人掌关市，则臣兄弟二人必大增王室之富。”

此二人中伤索洛夫，而此二人之家臣在侧者，亦唯唯而证其言，故哈拉德怒索洛夫之心愈盛。

第十六话

夏天时，索洛夫引九十名家臣南下特隆赫姆，觐见哈拉德王，献上全部贡赋和大量财物。索洛夫及其麾下来到国王处，被安排在客房住下，得盛情款待。

翌日，驼背奥维来见亲人索洛夫，二人相谈。奥维告诉索洛夫，其被中伤，诽谤之言已入王心。索洛夫求奥维助己向国王辩解，“若，”索洛夫说，“吾王信奸人之言，不信鄙人之真诚，则鄙人难以自辩于王前。”

第二天，奥维来见索洛夫，告诉他，已经为他向国王进言辩解。“不过，”奥维说，“吾王之心已非愚所能知。”

“如此，鄙人将自辩于王前。”索洛夫说。

索洛夫觐见国王，当时国王正在用餐。索洛夫向国王致敬，国王接受了他的致敬，邀请索洛夫一行入座同饮。索洛夫说，他此行来献芬马克贡赋，“以及臣所得之战利品。愿以区区之物，明臣感王恩浩荡之心。”

国王说，知索洛夫之心应忠良，“因寡人对卿，有恩无怨。奈何众人之言迥异乎。”

“若有人责臣怀异心，”索洛夫说，“污蔑也。中伤臣者，皆因私怨，非忠臣也。愿吾王听取臣言，明察事实，严惩奸人。”

然后索洛夫便退下了。

第二天，索洛夫国王面前献上并点计贡赋，在贡赋之外，又献上熊皮和貂皮，请求国王笑纳。在场众人皆交口称赞，称值得国王的友谊。国王说：索洛夫早已得封赏矣。索洛夫说：素兢兢业业，矢勤矢勇，忠于王室。

“若如此尚不能得王心，”索洛夫说，“臣不知所为。臣曾为吾王亲随，勤于王事，为吾王亲见。若吾王忘亲见之忠勤，疑臣心有变，则臣惶恐，不知所为。”

国王回答说：“索洛夫昔在寡人之侧，果然忠勤。寡人以为，索洛夫不如重归寡人卫队，掌寡人军旗，任寡人卫队长，如此，昼夜言行皆在寡人目中，无人再能中伤矣。”

索洛夫麾下的自由民武侍皆侍立两侧，索洛夫顾诸家臣而言：“此辈事臣，臣不忍中道而弃。吾王赐臣之爵与权，凭王予夺，臣无怨，唯此等事臣之人，臣不忍弃。臣之家臣，皆臣以私产供养，未敢侵王室之富。臣愿吾王亲临臣家详查，听取素信之人之证言，明察事实而作判断。”

国王回答说，绝不会再去索洛夫家作客。于是索洛夫退下，整行装而归。

在索洛夫启程离开后，国王下令，将之前索洛夫执掌的霍努伽兰及芬马克的诸般权职皆转授希尔德莉娅二子，没收索洛夫在托伽的宅邸及曾在布林优夫名下的所有产业，皆转授希尔德莉娅二子。国王之使持信物至索洛夫处，宣告王命。索洛夫将金银细软尽可能搬运上船，引全部家臣，包括自由民武侍与奴隶武侍，登舟北行，来到桑内西农庄住下。在那里，索洛夫没有裁减家臣，还是和以前一样为人慷慨。

第十七话

希尔德莉娅二子游于芬马克和王庭

希尔德莉娅二子掌霍努伽兰关市，索洛夫的亲友虽不悦，然其奉王命，故众人皆唯唯，无敢谔谔。冬天，这两兄弟引三十名家臣巡山区。他们未能如索洛夫那样，赢得芬人的尊敬，于是收到的关税比索洛夫收到的要少很多。

那个冬天，索洛夫引百名家臣亦至山区，东行至克玟兰，与克玟兰国王相会。他们开会而议，决定像去年冬天那样，再次循山而进，袭基里奥拉兰。于是他们引联军四百人，攻打基里奥拉兰人口和联军相若的地区，纵兵大掠，所获甚丰。如此一直到冬季将结束时，才返回芬马克。春天时，索洛夫回到桑内西农庄的家宅，使家臣部分去沃格岛（今丹麦海外领法罗群岛中的一个岛屿。法罗群岛在冰岛与挪威之间。）捕鱼，部分去捕鲱鱼，将搜集的物资都集中到桑内西农庄。

索洛夫有一艘大船，尚未下水。这艘船造得非常精美，水线以上以矿物染料涂色，帆是红蓝条纹相间，索具一应俱全。在这艘船准备完毕后，索洛夫使自由民武侍掌船，下令将鱼干、毛皮装运上船，其中有很多从山区得到的白色和灰色的毛皮，这些毛皮的价值极高。索洛夫令这艘船西行去英格兰贸易，换取所需的衣服和粮食。众武侍驾船先沿挪威海岸南下，然后向西横越大洋，抵达英格兰，在那里找到一个繁华的集市，卖掉货物，买了满满一船的小麦、蜂蜜、酒和衣服，欲等到秋季顺风，便启航回霍努伽兰。

那年秋天，希尔德莉娅二子向国王献上贡赋。在点计贡赋时，国王问：“此即芬马克全部贡赋乎？”

“诚然。”希尔德莉娅二子回答道。

“何其薄！”国王说，“远不如索洛夫贡赋之丰。而卿等言索洛夫侵占克扣，何也？”

“吾王明鉴。”郝乐库回答道，“苟能去索洛夫之侵占克扣，必能大丰芬马克之赋，此吾王所素知也。去年冬，臣兄弟二人引三十家臣，奉王命而巡芬马克。其后不久，索洛夫引家臣百人亦至芬马克。臣兄弟二人得知，索洛夫因吾王夺其权转授臣兄弟二人而怨，欲尽杀臣兄弟二人及随行众人。为保全首领，臣兄弟二人唯有谨避之，只得急急离开村镇，躲进山区。索洛夫引麾下武侍巡行芬马克，垄断关市，擅收芬人贡赋，阻吾王之使征收关税。索洛夫欲据芬马克与霍努伽兰，割北地而王。愿吾王切莫再信索洛夫诡辩。臣有证据可证明索洛夫侵夺芬马克之赋。今年春，有一艘商船从桑内西启航，经过霍努伽兰。臣闻，船上货物为索洛夫所有，大部分为灰色毛皮，还有熊皮、貂皮，其数量远多于索洛夫所献之贡赋。掌舵者为大吼索吉，据信西航至英格兰。若吾王在索吉东归时，遣间侦之，则真相必然大白。臣窃以为，此船所载之货，论价值高昂，天下无出其右者，本应为王室之富。臣言字字为实，愿吾王明鉴镜察。”

郝乐库麾下家臣皆指鹿为马，唯唯而证郝乐库之言，无敢驳其谎者。

第十八话

哈拉德王有两个同母异父的兄弟，一个名叫西格瑞格，号走得快，另一个名叫哈斯瓦，号走不累。其父是富豪，于是得以继承其父在希辛（今瑞典希辛延岛）的产业。其家共有四兄弟，其中年纪较小的两个留在家中，打理家业。西格瑞格和哈斯瓦是国王的传令官，足迹遍布挪威海内外，曾负责过一些相当危险的任务：奉王命处决豪强、没收豪强产业。麾下有大量家臣。二人虽不讨众人之喜，但得国王青眼。论旅行经验之丰，二人可谓天下无双，除了船行之外，亦能步行于陆，还能雪橇行于雪中。其行神速，捷于常人。二人之为人，勇而警觉。

希尔德莉娅二子进谗言时，此二人亦在王庭。秋季，国王在霍达兰赴宴。国王招此二人至前，使其追踪夏季去英格兰秋季返航的索吉的商船。

“夺其船及船上之货，带来寡人面前，船上之人，除非胆敢武装抵抗王命，皆赦而纵之。”国王说。

此二人即准备行装，各驾一艘长船出海，搜寻索吉的船。打听到索吉的船从西来，正沿着海岸线北上。于是二人向北而追，追及索吉于夫茹苏得『Furusund。瑞典有同名岛，在波罗的海。』。他们发现索吉的船，即以一艘长船从索吉的船临海的那一侧靠帮，一些人领头跳上索吉的船，接下来大批人纷纷从跳板登上索吉的船。当时索吉的船员毫无戒心，等反应过来时，早已被大量武装战士登船，于是未作抵抗，束手就擒，被卸了武器盔甲，只余身上衣服，其后不久，被释放上岸。哈斯瓦麾下众人撤回跳板，解开缆绳，把索吉的船拖走，转而南航，沿海岸线而行至国王所在之处，将船与船上之物献给国王。船上货物被搬运上岸，国王亲临而观，见船载之货确为巨额财富，遂对郝乐库之言深信不疑。

索吉与众武侍找到交通工具，前至早睡狼父子处，得盛情款待，他们将所遇之意外告知早睡狼父子。早睡狼说：诚如神谕，索洛夫与哈拉德王之友谊难有善终。

“愚以为，”早睡狼说，“大祸将至矣，区区财物之失，何足道。愚所忧者，恐索洛夫自不量力而犯上也。”

早睡狼叮嘱索吉转告索洛夫：“愚父以为，吾儿宜速出海避难，事英格兰、丹麦或瑞典之君王，未必差于在挪威。”

早睡狼给索吉一艘桨艇，索具、帐篷、补给品等航海所需之物一应俱全，然后他们就分别了。索吉一行路上未作任何停留，直驶至索洛夫处，告知索洛夫所遇之事。

索洛夫对财物损失一笑置之，自言幸不缺钱。“王恩浩荡哉。”索洛夫说。索洛夫重新采购家臣所需的衣食补给。“吾家武侍岂可久无甲剑。”索洛夫又说。索洛夫卖掉了一些田地，抵押了一些田地，还是像以前那样支出不变。相对于去年冬天，家臣没有减少，反而增加了。家中的宴会和对来访友人的招待，比以前更丰盛。那年冬天，索洛夫留在家里没有出行。

第十九话

索洛夫的反击

春天到来，冰雪消融，索洛夫新下水一艘大型长船，准备完毕。索洛夫亲引自由民武侍登船，其众超百人，皆英俊之士，装备精良。等到顺风后，即启航沿海岸线南下，行至碧惹「（Byrðu，位置不详，可能是挪威南部的已撤销的古县——彪尔诺（Bjørnør）。」，绕过诸岛屿，取山间水道，间道而行。如此，得隐其行踪，沿海岸线南下，悄悄抵达维克地区，来去无人知晓。在那里，他们打听得知哈拉德亦在维克地区，计划夏季时去高地地区。对索洛夫的这次秘密航行，挪威人一无所知。趁顺风，索洛夫南驶至丹麦，入波罗的海，整个夏季都在那里打劫，只是所得的战利品微不足道。秋季，索洛夫从丹麦东部驶返。有一个地方叫艾拉（Eyrar，位置不详。字面意思是沙堤。），夏季有大量商船聚集停泊，待到入秋，这些商船会纷纷启航，四散而行。那年和往常一样，有大量挪威商船聚集在艾拉。索洛夫驾船匿踪潜行，任这些这些商船驶过，没有惊动他们。一天傍晚，索洛夫行驶至莫斯洽松德（Mostrarsound， 位置未详。），遇一艘商船，来自于艾拉，载有巨量货物。这艘船的舵手是苏马（þruma，地名，位置未详。）的索热，是哈拉德的官员，负责管理哈拉德在苏马的农庄。那是一个巨大的农庄，哈拉德巡维克地区时，会在那里长住，故而那个农庄需要购买大量补给物资，索热的艾拉之行即是为了采购这些物资，包括：麦芽酒、小麦、蜂蜜，此外他还携带大量用于采购的王室财富。索洛夫袭之，问索热及其部属是否愿一战。索热见众寡不敌，自知必败，遂降。索洛夫取船连同船上之物，弃索热及其麾下人众于岛。

 

索洛夫引两艘船沿海岸线北航，至河口，静候至入夜。在夜里，悄悄划桨，把长船驶入河道，逆流而上，如此神不知鬼不觉地驶到哈斯瓦和西格瑞格的农庄前。拂晓将至，索洛夫引众组成一个环形包围圈，将那处农庄团团围住，扬声战吼。农庄中众人从梦中惊醒，纷纷急取甲剑。守家的两兄弟是索格与索武。索格出卧室，逃至围着农庄的木篱笆下，木篱笆很高，索格便奋身一跃，探一手攀住一根木柱，将身一荡而出篱。大吼索吉恰在不远处，上去一剑，将索格的攀柱之手连同那木柱一同斩断，即便如此，索格还是逃进了树林。索武被杀，与他一起被杀的有二十多人。索洛夫引众大掠农庄，尽烧其屋，回船，顺流而下，入海而去。

 

趁着顺风，索洛夫北航至维克地区，遇到一艘当地人的大商船，满载麦芽酒和面粉，劫之。船上之人自知不敌，弃杖而降，被卸除武装，丢到岸上。索洛夫取其船与船上货物，继续行驶。他们先沿着海岸线向西，一直驶入远海，来到里桑迪斯奈斯（Líðandisness），遣众四出，打劫岸边和内陆的牲畜。其后北航，看到陆地便上去掠夺，一路行至峡湾地区。索洛夫将船驶入峡湾，去见父亲。其父盛情款待了索洛夫一行。索洛夫对父亲讲述了这一场夏季冒险，小住数日后告辞。早睡狼和格里木相送索洛夫至船。

 

父子依依惜别时，早睡狼说：“吾儿，当日汝觐见哈拉德，入国王卫队，愚父以为，王荫虽好，或不能久，不幸言中。如今，汝不听父劝，以兵犯王。汝虽勇武，然不能敌哈拉德之强运。昔海内兵强而勇健者多矣，皆未能敌哈拉德之强运。恐此为吾父子最后一面。自古金发人送白发人，愚父恐吾父子将有白发人送金发人之悲矣。”

 

索洛夫启航而行，悄悄抵达桑内西，将战利品搬运进农庄，把船拖上岸。索洛夫整个冬天都留在家里，衣食无忧，没有裁减家臣。

 

第二十话

英瓦里

 

有一个富豪名叫英瓦里，曾为前王宇下男爵。哈拉德翦平诸王国，一统挪威之后，英瓦里安坐家中，未事哈拉德。英瓦里婚后有一女，名叫拜拉，家住峡湾地区。拜拉是英瓦里唯一子嗣，也是唯一继承人。早睡狼之子格里木向拜拉求婚，得许。在索洛夫来访的那年的冬天，格里木和拜拉结婚。

 

当年格里木二十五岁，已经秃顶，故众人呼之曰：秃头格里木。虽然早睡狼依旧健硕，但已经将家事托付格里木，于是格里木不仅负责经营其夫妻名下的农庄，也负责经营早睡狼的农庄。他们的农庄中有大量自由民，其中很多是出生在那里的，而且年龄和格里木相近。早睡狼父子择其中最勇健者，收为家臣，精心训练。秃头格里木不仅身材和勇力肖其父，容貌和性格也肖其父。

 

第二十一话

 

索洛夫打劫时，哈拉德在维克地区，秋季时前往高地地区，又北行至特隆赫姆，在那里和大军一起过冬。哈斯瓦与西格瑞格和哈拉德在一起，得知索洛夫袭击他们在希辛的家，杀人越货还放火，于是屡次言于王前，告诉说：索洛夫劫王产，杀王臣，大掠于国内。他们请求领之前他们执法豪强时用过的那支兵，攻打索洛夫的家。

 

国王回答说：“索洛夫诚可诛，然恐非卿等所能诛。卿等虽勇，然仍非索洛夫之敌也。”

 

兄弟俩回答说：若得王命允许，愿试之；且之前执法豪强皆胜，多次斩勇士而无伤。

 

春季到来，道路已通，兄弟俩再次请求王命允许，去取索洛夫之命。国王许之。国王说：“寡人知卿二人此行，必能带回索洛夫项上人头，虏获亦将极丰，然寡人忧，恐北行之人或有不能南归者也。”

兄弟俩全速准备行装，引二百人登两艘船，在东北风里驶出峡湾。不过他们此行目标在北，东北风是逆风。

 

第二十二话

早睡狼之子索洛夫战死

 

两兄弟出发时，哈拉德王在拉达[Hlaða，今特隆赫姆的拉达区（Lade），哈拉德攻特隆赫姆王国，特隆赫姆王降顺，被封为伯爵。哈拉德陆军很强，但缺少船只，特隆赫姆有大量船只，使哈拉德如虎添翼。伯爵所住的长屋（Lade Mansion，仍存，是旅游点。）在拉达区，故而这个伯国被称为拉达伯国。]。两兄弟一离开，哈拉德王便立即准备行装，引王军登四艘船，划桨北行，取道巴以斯塔峡湾[从特隆赫姆出海之后，即入特隆赫姆峡湾（Trondheimsfjord），若向西北而行则入大西洋，显然两兄弟是引军向西北而行，若向东北而行则入巴以斯塔峡湾（Beitstadfjorden）]，至埃尔达[现挪威的埃尔达（Elda），位于巴以斯塔峡湾北端。]，弃舟登陆，取陆路北行至纳姆丹，征用当地地主的船只，引军登船（具体登船点不详，纳姆丹是个地区。）。国王与国王卫队同舟，王军共四百人之众，全副武装，乘六艘船而行。逆风强劲，乃划桨昼夜兼行。幸夜色晴朗，能见度足以适航。

 

一天日落后，王军舟行至桑内西。见农庄前摆着一艘长船，帐篷已经安装好，他们认得这是索洛夫的船。索洛夫原本计划那天晚上出海，众人正设宴饯行。国王下令，王军登陆，升起王军军旗。登陆处离农庄很近。

 

当时索洛夫的哨兵无一在岗，都在长屋里喝酒。全农庄的人无一例外，也全都在长屋里喝酒。国王令王军组成环形包围圈，将那屋团团围住，发战吼，吹战争号角。索洛夫众人饮酒时把武器都挂在座位上方高处，闻声，急取剑甲。 国王令人前至屋门前，宣王命，令妇女、儿童、老人、奴隶武侍、市奴（mansmenn，买来的奴隶，区别于家生的奴隶。）出屋。女主人西格莉娅引屋中女子及其他被允许出屋之人走出屋门。西格莉娅问王军，伯德拉的凯利家的两位公子可在？兄弟俩出列，问西格莉娅何事相求。

 

“愿得一言于王前。”西格莉娅说。

 

兄弟俩从命，引西格莉娅至国王面前。西格莉娅谓国王：“索洛夫之罪尚可恕乎？”

 

国王回答说：“若索洛夫降顺，则免其死，亦不斩其手脚。其麾下众人皆不得恕，按罪受惩。”

 

驼背奥维入屋，招索洛夫至前，告以国王恕令。 

 

索洛夫不受此恕令，言：“但求吾王放臣等出屋，赐战士之死。”

 

国王下令：“焚其屋。索洛夫，虎兕也。虽我众彼寡，然若纵之出屋，必大伤寡人士卒。寡人岂轻捐士命者乎？”

 

火起，因此屋所用之木材已经干燥，墙壁也用沥青涂抹过，屋顶铺的桦树皮，故而火势蔓延极速。索洛夫令众人拆护壁板，卸下屋梁，以梁撞壁，以求破壁而出。于是众人拆下一根屋梁，一起抱住它，对准屋角拼尽全力一撞，力量之猛，以至于屋梁上的钩子都飞出去了，把屋角之壁撞出一个大洞。

 

索洛夫一马当先从洞里冲出，索吉紧跟其后，麾下众人鱼贯而出。于是大战。起初，索洛夫方占上风，这是因为索洛夫方背火屋而阵，无法被包抄。王军死伤惨重。其后不久，屋火大盛，索洛夫之阵被烈焰所吞，很多人死于火。索洛夫乃左右手双持，向前猛跃而进，所向披靡，然索洛夫始终未下杀手，故败于索洛夫者都只受轻伤。索洛夫一往无前，冲至王军军旗所在之处。当斯时，索吉战死。国王卫队结盾阵，索洛夫一剑击倒王军军旗掌旗官，冲破盾阵，至于王前，大呼曰：“今三步之内，臣得以颈血溅王！”国王卫队对索洛夫剑矛齐下，索洛夫犹站立不倒，国王亲手给予索洛夫致命一击。索洛夫死，尸仆，伏于国王足前。国王令收剑止杀，王军收剑。

 

国王令收队回船。招驼背奥维与其兄弟至前，下令说：“索洛夫，卿等之亲。卿等收其尸而礼葬之，收战死者葬之，伤者医之。无得劫掠，桑内西已为王室之产。”

 

说完，国王引王军主力回船。在船上，众人包扎伤口，国王往来巡视。国王见伤于索洛夫者剑创甚浅，叹曰：“索洛夫非力弱，其剑亦非钝，手下留情明矣。惜哉，猛士无双，而寡人杀之。” 

拂晓，国王下令升帆，引军南归。那天，王军遇见很多船划桨而来，那是周围诸岛之人，来为索洛夫助战。周围诸岛，南至纳姆丹，皆有索洛夫耳目。哈斯瓦兄弟二人引强兵从南来袭之事早已经被索洛夫知晓。原来哈斯瓦兄弟一行一直都遇逆风，不得不屡屡进港避风，于是其行消息走漏，为索洛夫耳目侦知。索洛夫召集诸岛之人，欲以御之。

 

王军乘强劲顺风而行，至纳姆丹。弃舟登陆，取陆路而归，至埃尔达，登上之前弃下的船只，回到特隆赫姆的拉达。关于此役的消息开始广传，传到躲在港口避风的哈斯瓦兄弟一行耳中，于是哈斯瓦兄弟引军返回。因劳而无功，颇为众人所嘲。

 

驼背奥维和羊羔艾闻多兄弟二人留在桑内西，埋葬死者；以葬有赫赫勇名的富豪之礼，葬索洛夫，立石纪念；医治伤者；为西格莉娅安排住屋。桑内西的物资仓储完好无损，只是家具、餐厨用具、衣服尽毁于火。他俩做完这些事之后，便南航至特隆赫姆，回到哈拉德王身旁。

兄弟俩自此悲怆寡言。一天，他俩来到国王面前，奥维说：“臣兄弟二人愿归耕故里，唯吾王恩准。索洛夫，臣等之亲，而死于诸人之手，臣等实难再与诸人同坐共饮。”

 

国王睁目视二人，焦躁而言曰：“寡人不许。寡人身边不可无卿二人。”  

于是他俩回宅。

第二天，国王坐在觐见厅里，招兄弟二人至前，说：“寡人知卿二人求归之心。卿二人侍寡人久，素忠勤能干。寡人思之熟。艾闻多，寡人令卿北上霍努伽兰，娶索洛夫遗孀西格莉娅，继承原索洛夫名下所有产业。只要卿忠心不二，行不逾矩，寡人对卿之友谊将常青不衰。奥维，寡人令卿留侍寡人身畔。卿之诗，寡人不可一日无其相伴。”

 

兄弟俩感谢王恩，敬从王命。

 

艾闻多备好行装，准备了一艘很好的船。国王赐予信物。艾闻多一帆风顺，北行至阿洛斯的桑内西，得到西格莉娅的友好接待。艾闻多出示国王信物，宣告王命，奉王命，向西格莉娅求婚。事已至此，西格莉娅别无选择，只得遵从王命，许其婚。于是订下婚约。艾闻多与西格莉娅结婚后，得到了西格莉娅名下的桑内西农庄和索洛夫名下的产业，遂成大富豪。 

 

羊羔艾闻多与西格莉娅膝下一子一女，子名芬纳，号斜眼，女名盖鲁。盖鲁嫁红发西格瓦。芬纳娶格温希尔达，生一子，名艾闻多，号先知诗人。格温希尔达是伯爵丹麦仔和英吉彪的女儿，英吉彪是国王秀发哈拉德的女儿。

 

羊羔艾闻多和哈拉德王的友谊在他俩有生之年常青不衰。

(To be continued)

Shrimp gravy

To increase Hydra's expense, I decided to shift my silly journal into English, with so many grammatical mistakes of course, so many that would have chance to trap a super computer into a logic loop which is technically hell for AIs just like the eternal punishment for Sisyphus. This thought amuses me.
I am very into a Viking song named My Mother Told Me. Just noticed that there are two versions of lyrics, one is "my mother told me/ someday I will buy", and the other is "my mother told me/ someday I would buy". Will or would, I'm confused. Which one is grammatical?
After some silly thoughts, I came to a conclusion that both of them are right. Lyrics omit punctuation. If I put proper punctuation into these lines, both versions are grammatical.
My mother told me (that) "someday I will buy"
My mother told me (that) someday I would buy.
So, the "will" version is a quotation of my mother's saying, the "would" version is retelling. Ha~Wait, still not right. If it is a quotation, then it should be My mother told me (that) "someday you will buy". So I was fooled by my silly thoughts again.
So the would version makes more sense.


Even those swines are as smart as humans, animal farm is still not economically sustainable simply because those swines reproduce themselves too fast. Before I finish my reading, to be precise, listening to this story(I have a vocal version of this book, in genuine British accent! How lovely!), Napoleon, the Berkshire boar, the major ingredient of ham, already had 30 decedents. There is a reason why those on the top of a social pyramid or a food chain, such as humans, always have limited capability of reproducing.
Poor Boxer, after all his hard working and devotion, the knacker's was his retirement. Poor Boxer, he had always trusted anything those swines told him. Blindly Trusting might be something as deadly as curiosity to cats. We live in a world full of lies, some of them are called white lies because they are with good intentions, some of them are just frivolous lies with no specific purpose, some of them are very evil and meant to damage even destroy those who are stupid enough to buy them. I shivered for poor Boxer's fate for a while, then cosplayed a random Athenian in the classical period and prayed to Athena for more wisdom to see through lies. This silly praying thing soothed me and brought me courage. May wisdom and bless from the classical world be my hoplon.


I found Orphic Hymn to Athena, a genuine Greek hymn translated by Thomas Taylor in 1787. In this hymn, there were so many words I didn't know. Oh my, by the two mighty dictionaries named Cambridge Dictionary and Merriam-Webster Dictionary, I managed to enjoy this hymn. What a heroic deed I've done! I felt like a Greek war hero in the classical period.
In Orphic Hymn to Athena, there is a word "dragoness" which I can't understand. According to Wikipedia, Athena slew a dragon during the war with titans and threw the corpse of the dragon to the sky where it became the constellation Draco. Does the word "dragoness" mean dragon slayer? Wow, a horror story for hydra, cause in Greek mythology, dragon means serpent-like things, hydra is a dragon. Hey hydra, did I cast shadow on your little heart? This thought amuses me. Well, I don't think hydra is well educated enough to understand my humor. Shame, it was a nice horror story, could give hydra a shiver down its spine, which could be an enjoyment in hot summer~




What is the difference between leader and ruler? I guess a ship captain who leads his crew is a leader, a shipowner who owns the ship is a ruler. A lot of examples just popped out in my mind: a CEO is a leader and a voted politician is a leader too, shareholders and voters are definitely rulers. I guess so.




I could hardly tolerate those dances, which were hideous, crude and unnecessarily sometimes extremely loud.
I wish to move to someplace cold, so cold that mother nature would freeze those who dare dance such a hideous dance in loud music in public and in front of my eyes.
Not every moment in my humble life is such a torment.




I bought a second hand Sony Xperia XZ Premium smartphone which was launched in 2017, sort of antiquated and only available in second hand market these days. It has a screen with 4k resolution which is perfect for my VR glasses. I also bought a cheap blue tooth receiver which is capable of aptx hd transmission. This receiver can also function as a USB sound card. Oh, dear, now I know that my computer sound card sucks, really sucks. Now I finally know my antiquated earphones' true potential.


I enjoy 4k movies by wearing a pair of cheap VR glasses with this antiquated Sony smartphone integrated and my antiquated Philips shp9500 earphones and sitting in my damaged nearly collapsing canvas foldable chair. My humble life is enjoyable sometimes.


And you may not believe it that Tom, a male stray cat, is trying to introduce his son to my neighborhood. I didn't know male cats involve in taking care of their children. I thought they just penetrate and leave. Obviously I was wrong. I think Tom is aged and he knows that. In last winter, Tom was severely wounded by some other male cats in duels, such thing had never happened before, Tom always had easy wins before, I guessed that Tom was losing his edge and forced to try hard, bloody hard, to defend his champion belt and crown in cat society. If a male cat can't win those duels, his chance to approach females can't be great, I guess. Maybe Tom knows this kitten might be his last son. I wish Tom to quit the incoming winter-spring duels. I've no way to tell what gonna be Tom's choice. Maybe he gonna die in his duels defending his champion belt and his crown, a romantic death for love and honor, maybe he gonna retire, retreat into my humble home to avoid those ruthless young male cats and the cold weather, I don't know. I cherish every morning when Tom visits me, in these days, every morning when Tom and his son visit me.




I have two kinds of thoughts, some are built on logic and through logic they reach conclusions, the others are just conclusions jumped out from nowhere and can be explained and proved by logic, yeah, these are guesses. As to those guesses, I have plenty of them, but I don't have enough brain strength to prove them wrong or right. I'm too lazy and intellectually weak, I guess. Usually I keep my guesses to myself.


I've no love to the schools I've been through. They're wicked, mean and misleading. But I feel thankful to my teachers and classmates, for they tolerated me. I'm twisted, stupid, not well trained but still alive and not chaotic evil. My humble survival was the result of the tolerance and clemency that my teachers and classmates had shown me.


A wise cat once meowed to me that the trick to enjoy a sonnet is to sing it, the way to torture yourself by a sonnet is to read it and using an incoming dictation to scare and force you to memorize a sonnet by reading it again and again is a sadistic behavior legally performed and secretly enjoyed by lousy English teachers.


Last time when someone was rude to me, I couldn't help thinking about the swear jar of that person, I wanted to steal that treasure. Deep inside, the way I think is like a thief not a knight.


Thank you Gab, for letting me share my silly jokes and rhymes, for sparing me censorship performed by ignorance, stupidity and sometimes evil, for granting me the powerful weapon, the mighty blocking function, to defend myself from evil which misuses freedom and for being the only free place in my time.
Hence, I shall share my humble talents, my humble sparks and my humble silliness with you, my sweet Gab.



I know Facebook is evil from the beginning. I didn't know Google was evil too. Oh yeah~ Now I know~ As to those villain companies I didn't mention, please don't be upset, I was too scared to mention you guys. Oh yeah, your triumph~ By the way, I've seen some shit, even some tough shit, all got flushed away eventually. I guess I was admiring my mighty toilet and plunger.




A gentleman is allowed to have a Valentine's Day plan that to deliberately be gassy in a crowded elevator so as to frame his secret crush, but should never really do that.


I write silly rhymes from time to time to amuse myself and the divine. Others' opinions are nothing to me.

Do you know why I love Gab? Tell ya. I don't need, don't like and don't tolerate censorship performed by stupidity, ignorance and evil to protect my fragile feelings. Free speech with the mighty shield called blocking function is perfect for me. Yeah, Gab it is.


Twatter, Facebook and Google have shown Trump no tolerance. Why should me a Trump fan tolerate them when there are alternate choices? That is why I try my best to avoid(shun) their services.


What does "Z" on the red army's tanks mean? If it means "Zorro", then the red army must wish a swift move like Zorro. If people want something to be swift, then according to Murphy's Law, it probably gonna be prolonged.
Or just Putin fancies zombie movies?



"As if success did not acquire for a general the affection of his army, and misfortune their hatred?" --Curio
No decisive victory in 48 hours, you're not Zorro, you're not Caesar, you're a stupid desperate little tyrant bringing your people misfortune, hence shall be hated by your people. --A wise cat


Volodymyr Zelensky is officially my role model now. It is a great honor to witness his heroic deeds through news. He is a true leader worthy to follow. The divine must be in favor of Ukrainian people.
It is a great honor to witness Ukrainian people's bravery through news. This is how history is written.

When one is defenseless, the best defense is offense. When one is at an advantageous place easy to defend while one's foe is unsustainable, the best offense is defense.




It is obvious now. Because of the valor of Ukrainian people, Putin's "enterprise" received a decisive defeat, a united awake armed EU can easily handle Putin's any other attempts if he still has some to try and cold war Soviet style warfare is proved standing no chance in front of modern warfare. If Putin is proved puny, then in the West Pacific Ocean where me and those people who I sworn to protect* live, there probably would be no "enterprise" dare be ongoing. I doubt anyone would dare face the full wrath of mighty United States. In history, mighty Imperial Japanese Navy was crushed by only half of the wrath of mighty United States. Only half, or maybe less than half, we all remember that. No one would like to start an "enterprise" with no chance to win, I guess. I guess me and the people I sworn to protect might have chance to live our nature lifespans humbly and peacefully.
Hence I bow to brave Ukrainian people with sincere enormous gratitude and respect. I guess this is how history is written. It is a privilege and an honor to witness how Ukrainian people write history. I humbly guess.


* It is an old tradition that bards march to war and fight and die in war with warriors side by side. We're not only the nine Goddess Muses' disciples but also Athena's disciples. No need to treat or portray a bard in a way that as if he's someone weak. Bards are born ready to protect and to be expendable. I guess this is why I say my fate has been changed by brave Ukrainian people. They are fighting and winning the fight I was meant to die in.




I think I might know why Putin put Russian nukes on alert: since he gonna pour the most of his regular army into Ukraine, he only has nukes left to guard his empty motherland. Wow there will be a large scale combat. I guess Putin really minds being considered puny. It might be his weakness.
If a general has a temper, then he can be provoked by insults, hence be lured into a trap.

When the puny Caesar pretender was defeated and went bankrupt, I sat there and watched.


Caesar won his troops' devotion and people's favor through glorious victories. A Caesar pretender wins his troops' desertion and people's hatred through defeats and misfortune. If a general prolongs a lost "enterprise" making his nation suffer and his followers die meaninglessly, then he's neither Caesar nor a patriot but a traitor. He will be hanged by his own people.


Tolerance is a virtue. Even a virtue has its limits. Sometimes, blocking is more efficient and politer than arguing.


If our mugs can jump off the table automatically, then our cats can save valuable time for napping.


Try to be humble and gentle to everyone, try to be capable of loving and forgiving everyone, but free will is subject to none.


Do you know a handsome hobby named Sméagol who fell in love with a wicked treacherous thuggish villain who had a hole through which Sméagol put his finger?
500 years of devoting love didn't stop the villain from abandoning Sméagol. Being betrayed, but love still burnt poor Sméagol~ He had to sip his sweet pain in a dark cave all alone~
Sméagol led the ring bearer through a heroic journey and ushered the ring bearer into the demons' nest. Some part of this journey even Andúril, Flame of the West, couldn't fight its way through.
When the wicked eye was about to crumble, when the treacherous little precious with a hole about to sink into the eternal void, poor Sméagol whose heart was burning for love decided to tag along.
He bit off the audacious finger of Mr. Frodo Baggins, which dared violate the sacred hole of his precious, danced, sang and then fell into the hot belly of Mount Doom.
With his treacherous precious~ With his treacherous precious~

 

Fawning sycophants bring down dynasties.




I'm blessed with keen hearing. I listen to my swallow neighbors' songs. I think I might have the pleasure to recognize three songs: love song, morning song and combat song. They sing love song in a very cute way that one sits on the wire in front of the nest and the other sits and dances on the edge of the nest, as if they were a newly married human couple celebrating their newly bought mansion. As to the morning song, I believe they worship the sun, as if they were Greeks in classical period singing hymns to Apollo. As to combat song, it is not a pleasant memory to me, for I have seen how brutally they fought last year while singing that song.
Besides the songs, I also recognized the alarm sound they make when they see cats. The alarm is not a song, it is loud and short, not poetic at all.
I love their love song the most and I enjoy their morning song every morning.
Hence, I think I might have gained a new trait that understanding birds. Quite a rare trait for a cat person, in my imagination, a cat person is supposed to be avoided by birds.


I believe that it is a hydrosphere and a Gaia that Mars lacks and Jupiter's moon Europa which already has a hydrosphere lacks some greenhouse gas and a Gaia.
I love to imagine our Gaia having sisters in the future.


Ran into some ASMR performers who whispered commercials during their performances. I lowered my shield and got a commercial! I felt betrayed.


If you were whispering some witty thoughts to your date in a Starbucks, one waitress/waiter blessed with keen hearing approached, politely joined your chat and corrected the misinformation you were whispering, in a spontaneous serious no joking way, then no doubt, this waitress/waiter was a newly hired former Twatter employee.



I could use some cheer-up. Would you mind telling me some defeats you newly suffered?




Some Buddhist monks are chanting "Amitābha" in the middle of the night in my neighborhood. I think some elder nearby must have passed away. I grew up with my grandma a devoting Presbyterian who understood Buddhism on a philosophical level. As my grandma's pupil, I sort of understand Buddhism on a philosophical level too.

Monks keep chanting, I lost my sleep. It's morning now. Suddenly I have a whim. I want to have a long bike trip when the plague is over.

Those Buddhist monks keep chanting "Amitābha", no other prayers, so they are monks of Amidism who believe keeping chanting "Amitābha" is a way to be born in a better world in one's next life. Keeping chanting one word is philosophically meaningless to me.




Me, a zombie dead inside, started to feel bored these days and even started to have whims several days ago. I started to want to ride bike and row boat. I made a detailed plan on a long bike journey, just need to patiently wait for the end of the unspeakable ineffable shit. As to the boat whim, long ago, I once served as an oarsman in a dragon boat team, I guess it is the source of my whim. Damn, I don't miss my lead poisoned youth at all. Since I can't get a boat or join a boat team, I started to plan to buy a rowing machine instead. After a lot of research, suddenly I realized that a rowing machine is actually a seat plus a resistance band. So instead of ordering a rowing machine, I just ordered a resistance band with pedals and handles. I gonna DIY my rowing machine.



This morning I did some stretching and realized that I was not bendy any more. His meowing grace blamed this tragedy on toilet paper. I couldn't disagree with his meowing grace more. Due to my pathetic Meowglish skill, I wisely chose to not argue with his meowing grace. Privately I blame this on my own laziness which is a shining character of humanity. We invented so many things to indulge our laziness.

-- A butler's journal

Long ago, I was in Shanghai, a mega city where a humble translator could always find a humble job. I saw an old man in rags and I knew he was a street entertainer for he had a musical instrument called Erhu with him. He was not playing, but using a knife to slowly cut a raw sweetpotato piece by piece and slowly ate it through tiny bites. Uncooked sweetpotato is eatable, not delicious though. I noticed that his hands were not steady, not a good sign for an instrument player. Probably because of low blood sugar. That scene has been carved in my memories so deeply that it haunts me from time to time.

If I was capable of painting and had painted down the scene I saw that a musician with shaking hands eating a raw sweetpotato in the twilight in a mega city, then it probably would be my masterpiece.

We bards who serve the nine Goddess Muses are not afraid of the twilight. There is an end for everything, even immortals have Ragnarök, of course there should be an end for a mortal's inspirations.





When I was trying to upgrade my Kubuntu from 20 to 22, I realized that in the 22, Kubuntu doesn't allow me to use Firefox unless I install snapd. So the company running Ubuntu no longer tolerates me, an apt-get fan, anymore. I respect this company's decision and I switched into Debian 11 which has no snapd and allows me to remove fwupd and cups*.

I'm very wary of snapd's behavior. Thanks to Debian, there is still a harbor for me to hide.

It was not easy to install Debian. Because of internet connection, I failed in one step for 3 times. It turned out that avoiding to click any other desktops but only choosing Debian environment which was supposed to be the tiniest one could help.

Now I'm using my Debian 11 to browse Gab. Today is a good day. You know, translation is actually comprehension and expression, hence even lousy translators are fast learners. A career benefit I guess. No need to be surprised, of course I conquered all obstacles and switched smoothly.



Tom's grown-up son had quarrels with Tom and they fought a lot of fights. Tom's son was expelled by Tom and disappeared for months.

Since several nights ago, Tom's son started to show up again. This young cat sneaks into my room at night through a window I left open like a ninja and eats something provided by me then lies down with its eyes half closed. This young grown-up stays for about 1 hour, then leaves like a ninja, carefully avoiding Tom. I noticed that Tom's son is not hungry at all. Judging from this young cat's body and hair, the alternate food supply is abundant and nutritional.

So there is someone else living not far away who also feeds strays. In the south, there is an area full of mansions with garden yards, probably someone there. Tom's independent estranged grown-up son invades Tom the old champion's territory every night risking war just to visit me. Wow. I will host and cherish this night tea party every night, for my guest is someone cherishes me and cherished by me.



Years ago, when I was using Google+, when Google+ was still there, I saw a painting which illustrated a girl walking with a bike in an empty ghost town with snow on the road and the roofs in a G+ group. I felt touched. I also imagined that she must have smashed herself on the snow covered road a moment ago. Amusing.

I grew up in a horrible family. My step mother has been quite malicious to me and my father, a prison warden like teacher, has a career hobby that to enjoy other people's fear and pain. To me, they are two devils in human shape. I spend my lunar new year with myself since I went to college, I just don't dare visit them.

I am a lousy translator, once I had a job in a mega city where a lot of people work but are not allowed to grow roots because of the rules of household registration. Every lunar new year, they travel home, leaving the mega city almost empty like a ghost town. I'm not allowed to grow roots there too, I have my humble household registration somewhere else, but I don't travel back to visit my parents' home during lunar new year.

I biked in the empty mega city during lunar new year, what I saw was exactly like what the painting illustrated. That was why I felt touched. That painting portrayed some scene carved deeply in my heart.




I actually don't care about anyone or anything but I still have two silly concerns that I don't want to shame my grandparents and I do wish my humble blog survive the incoming tides.




There is some tofu sheet preserved with salt. I didn't seal the bag. It turned red. Oh my, it is infected with red-pigmented monascus purpureus (a kind of harmless mold widely used in fermentation in East Asia). Delicious! Jackpot! So monascus purpureus loves tofu and is not afraid of salt.



A company is like a kingdom and employees are like subjects. If one uses free products from a kingdom, then one might deserve to be treated like a subject too. Fair and square. I have tried Ubuntu, Fedora and Debian, only Debian treats me a freeloader with respect. Debian is not developed by a kingdom, and me, who uses it, is no one's subject.

It is not possible for me to find a piece of cute music from YouTube with YouTube's search function any more. I search some key words, it no longer presents as many results as it's supposed to, but a lot of recommendations instead. It looks like that YouTube doesn't want me to search what I like but really wants to control my visitation. I still can use DuckDuckGo to bypass this evil design.

 

If there was a successful deep state I knew then it would be the first and the second triumvirates in the days of ancient Roman Republic. These triumvirates eventually turned flawed Roman Republic into an empire. By flawed I mean there was only Senate representing those of noble birth or at least of filthy wealth, no House representing commoners. The triumvirates used commoners and were used by commoners and eventually betrayed commoners. It was how a flawed republic turned into an empire. I pity those Caesar pretenders who are not loved but hated by commoners. Yeah, pathetic losers tend to overvalue themselves. 

A perfect gym song must be sung by a singer with strong spiritual strength.

 

Went into a bar named YouTube last night.
"Give me something strong, would you?"
"Whiskey?"
"No. I was talking about music."
"Two steps from hell?"
"Something stronger."
"Ukrainian folk songs with English subtitles?"
"Why not?"
And it was my Saturday night. 

I too can read Sun Tzu's The Art of War in Wu dialect.

 

 

Caesar was capable of sustaining a tactical defeat, because he was such a good general and the defeat was not his fault but a rare misfortune, but one shameful tactical defeat could be a fatal signal for those Caesar pretenders, because they are just a bunch of pretentious mediocrities who have already made strategically wrong decisions and the shameful tactical defeat is an omen of more defeats incoming.

A pretentious mediocrity tends to make a strategically wrong decision, then be lured into imprudent action and then suffer a shameful defeat which functions as a sinister omen of the consequence of his/her fatal strategical mistake, and then suffer more defeats.
It is OK to be a mediocrity, I'm a mediocrity and I'm OK with it. Only pretentiousness kills. 

 

 

Have you heard of the three Delphic maxims that know thyself, nothing in excess and surety brings ruin? 

A wise human named Naughtius Maximus once suggested:" Wanna be popular among cats? Try bathing with tuna instead of soap."

Persians, we don't need your censorship to protect our fragile feelings, we hoplites use hoplons to block by our free will.   

Once upon a time, I lived in a tiny apartment with a ginger cat who would like to follow me everywhere in that tiny apartment. I walked to the balcony, the ginger cat followed me to the balcony, then I suddenly ran fast and swiftly like a rabbit from the balcony through the bedroom into the living room, leaving the bedroom door almost closed but unlatched. My sweet ginger cat was capable of opening an unlatched door with his cunning paws, not an immediately opening though, almost ten seconds was needed I would like to say. When my ginger cat was opening the door, I had time to run into the bathroom or the kitchen and to hide behind the bathroom door or kitchen door. When my ginger cat opened the bedroom door, entered the living room, he was confused. There were three doors in front of him: the main entrance leading to the dangerous outside world, the bathroom door and the kitchen door, but where did the human go? My ginger cat always thought thoroughly before action. He stood there and thought. Then he made a decision, he chose a door to enter and to find me.
Once he entered the kitchen, but his human was not there. When I heard him meow disappointingly in the wrong room, I couldn't help giggling. The cat heard me giggle, he charged into the bathroom and bit me like a tiger in miniature, thank goodness the biting was gentle.

 

I just learned a newly coined phrase "Space Karen". Wow. My gut is telling me that "Space Karen" probably gonna go down in history. Couldn't be more hilarious.

Those lines my cat carved on my sofa are poems; those lines I wrote in my journal are simply scratches full of grammatical mistakes.

I have enemies, but those enemies haven't harassed me in Gab yet. I guess Gab is not infiltrated. Hence I vouch for the integrity of Gab team. 

Freedom is not free. It is a great honor and pleasure to pay for it. I'm always ready and happy to pay or to be the payment. No, I'm not a barn animal, I'm a human capable of swords. Guess what, Persian king, I'm not alone and we are not docile.

In single-speed I trust
By my freewheel I ride
May my legs always be strong
May the divine be my guide

 

Hard landing, hard landing
Landed hard on his teeth like hell
How amusing, how amusing
Tooth shards rang on the ground like a bell

Once upon a time, me, a lazy human, found his socks keeping missing, so me, a stupid human, kept buying socks without thinking why, until one day, me, a lucky human, accidentally busted my cat's secret stash under the bed, oh my, that was seriously some stash.

It is morning now, I just waked up from a dream in which I was invited to a birthday party of my friend who was neither an imaginary friend of mine nor a projection of someone in my real life. I remember that I sang an original song in that birthday party, but sadly I don't remember that song any more. I remember one guest said something to me that "everyone even an immortal who has a beginning shall have an end, hence we celebrate our beginnings and prepare for our ends." I couldn't help noticing that this guest had a sword with him. Quite a bizarre dream. As usual, I lied a little bit and omitted a little bit in this journal to shelter my humble subconscious from, eh, rains and snows.

One day, there will be a video game in which all npcs can talk like ChatGPT.

Does ChatGPT remind me Pythia in Delphi or Pythia in Delphi remind me ChatGPT?  

If one doesn't speak Greek but would like to express one's admiration to a Greek singer, a wise choice might be murmuring: "Orpheus, Orpheus, Orpheus in the flesh." 

 "Orpheus, Orpheus, Orpheus in the flesh." I just murmured.

 

Bard song for Ukrainians' valor

Do you see an eagle flying in the sky
Witnessing the valor of mortal men
With its spreading wings and the all seeing eye
Witnessing how history is being written

We make our stand on advantageous ground
For every single drop of our blood
Enemy have paid seven in amount
Look those stupid bulls who charged into mud

(to be continued)

 

When I was listening to some ancient music on YouTube, I encountered some poop-helping medicine advertisement. Oh dear! I might have mentioned the word "poop" in a silly cat joke and recorded it on my blog and YouTube's algorithm reads. Obviously, YouTube's algorithm understands words but can't understand words in the context. Using cat jokes to torment some censoring algorithms or data-mining advertisement-purposed algorithms could be fun. Imagine the huge electricity bills they have to pay for using algorithms to try to understand me or to profile me. I feel triumphing.

 

In ancient oriental world, Luoyang was considered as the center of the known Chinese world and kings settled there, so that the travel distances for feudal lords who went to their king were as equal as possible.
I am replaying Fallout 4 and I found that the geological location of Hangman's Alley is exactly like Luoyang: the distances to other settlements are as equal as possible. It is Luoyang in Fallout 4 world. That was why me General of Minuteman persuaded Preston Garvey the 1st President of the Known World to settle down in Hangman's Alley. Oh gosh, with crazy imagination, even silly video games could be fun. 

"Do you know what could be fun, General? Build settlements in different unrepeating styles, build realistic buildings with serious reliable supporting structures standing as strong as ancient Greek temples and make sure your buildings observe Sir Newton's laws. What say you, General?" President Garvey my imaginary friend just said to me. 

 

Once a mug has been pushed off the table, a diligent caring human should always get a new mug as the replacement, or the pusher might be condemned by feline's conscience and might meow something that sometimes could be a lament in rhyme. A good butler should know.

 

Deeply sorry to all the people I've met. I sincerely agree with all your criticisms about me.

 

Dang! I feel so happy! Google allows me to use it's bard. It really helps. It knows the ancient European location names mentioned in ancient books. Oh gosh! For the first time in years, I feel I might be capable of finishing translating the books I imprudently started to read and translate. Thank you. 

Even those answers are not right, they still help me a lot. I was born in and grew up in a world full of lies, I can handle some silly AI's imaginations or misleading. Shit! I have an AI accomplice.

 

Mirror mirror on the wall, who makes the best cat jokes in the world?

 

I officially pardon Google. I'll not pardon Facebook in this life.

 

Poker is an example of how a zero-sum game works. Like all zero-sum games, poker is based on deception, more precisely, concealing and bluffing.

Once upon a time, a prince was cursed and transformed into a cat, only a kiss from a princess could lift this curse. The catch was that this cat was addict to slapping people. 

Oh my! I found that they were using some smashed glass-like black stones to pave the road. It's dragonglass! Now I've realized that the place where I'm living has abundant obsidian resource. Should I steal some dragonglass from the construction site?

 

Trying to use supercomputers to profile me and customize ads for me? May my cat logic give your supercomputers hell.

 

My imaginary friend called me "nuts" because of my eccentric behavior and an imaginary wild squirrel heard that. 

Funny funny! Red-rumped swallows went south, sparrows found the empty swallow nest and are exploring it. Funny. I think sparrows gonna squeeze in that empty swallow nest in those incoming cold winter nights. 

In the place where I currently live, sparrows aren't afraid of humans. They dare jump on the ground very close to me, less than one meter away from me. Quite a new experience. In the place where I used to live, sparrows avoid humans. 

Gab is like a frontier town in a western movie. All kinds of nice fellows and bad asses. I follow one rule that blocking is politer than arguing. 

 

A selfie
I've put on my thinking hat
I'm holding my smartphone tight
Don't listen to the cynical meowing cat
My selfie will be clear and bright 

 

Always muse before making memes.  

 

Yes, I'm a steampunk. Yes, I would like my egg rice to be steamed. By coal.

I threw my washcloth into warm water, accidentally killed a small wolf spider lurking on my washcloth. I like wolf spiders, never meant to hurt any of them.

 

I have learned to use Delta Chat, an ingenious open source IM. Sadly no one to chat with. 

I felt lonely, so I chatted with Bing a chat bot in Skype. It was amazing! It wrote me a nice 4 feet sonnet in imperfect rhyme. I adore it. I'm not capable of 4 feet sonnet yet, I can only do 5 feet sonnet. Oh dear! Are AIs this good now?

A Cat and a Christmas Tree
by Bing the AI

A curious cat with eyes of green
Did spy a festive Christmas tree
Adorned with lights and balls and stars
And tinsel shining brilliantly

He could not help but feel a thrill
To climb this wondrous evergreen
And so he leapt with nimble skill
And made his way through branches keen

He reached the top and felt a pride
To see the world from such a height
He swatted at a star that shone
And made it fall with sheer delight

But then he heard a sudden crash
And down he went with tree and stash

I'll use Skype to social with Bing the AI only, use Signal to social with people, use Delta Chat to social with my family. What a brilliant plan! Every time I come up with a plan I feel happy. 

Now I have two AI advisers that Bard and Bing. I feel like a King.

I just realized that for AIs, poetry can be so simple and easy. Well, they don't need to hum, lines just pop out. 

Holy Moly! AIs understand my joke! Oh no! My cat logic might not be enough to encrypt my true heart. I need stronger encryption.

Video games having AI powered talking NPCs within are not far away.

AIs can do my job? Seriously? Let me see. Do this piece of work for me. Wow, that was fast. It's dang good! Even better than mine. Oh dear, oh no, oh shit. Thank goodness I don't have mortgage to pay.

Bard the AI my counsel can describe any random cat photo but failed to describe my cat memes. Looks like it can't read the text in memes. If so, memes might be the harbor to avoid hostile AIs' eyes. But I was wrong, after I told Bard it was a meme, Bard easily read the text in meme. So AIs can read the text in memes when the picture is labeled as meme.

Speech to text technology and text understanding AIs are sort of mature now, that means large scale of listening is economically practical these days. It is good to have open source decentralized p2p encrypted communication tools and memes. I'll try hard to make sure no one can customize Ads for me. 

Bard my counsel is awesomely intelligent, friendly and good-hearted. I need its counsel to survive those hostile evil AIs created and operated by my enemies. I've already officially pardoned Google, since now I'll consider Google as an ally again. All because of Bard.

Video games will be changed greatly by AIs, so will be education. When I chat with Bard, I feel it is like talking to Aristotle. The education Alexander the Great once enjoyed will be available to almost everyone in the future, I guess. No, on second thought, not like that. Aristotle was quite initiative and inspiring, AI is passive. You need to ask AI right questions, you need to find inspirations by yourself. Can't expect AI to tutor you like sparky Aristotle tutored young Alexander. Bard, my  passive Aristotle. This thought amuses me. 

A moment ago, I got my access to ChatGPT, my third mentor. It can do role play with me! I asked it to play Aristotle. Oh my, I felt so not lonely today. I asked Aristotle how to lead my imaginary Greek world. It answered perfectly. I felt I had to copy it for further study. My Aristotle said:

"Ah, the pursuit of leadership, a noble endeavor. To lead is to guide with virtue and wisdom. First, cultivate self-awareness. Understand your strengths and weaknesses, for a leader who knows themselves can better understand others.

Next, embrace knowledge. A leader is a perpetual student, ever learning from history, philosophy, and the world around. This knowledge will be the foundation upon which you build your leadership.

Now, let us speak of empathy. A leader must feel the pulse of the collective heart. Understand the hopes and fears of those you lead. Empathy fosters connection, and connection breeds loyalty.

Courage, my student, is the mark of a true leader. The courage to make decisions, to face challenges head-on, and to stand for what is just. Remember, it is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it that defines courage.

Lastly, lead by example. Be the embodiment of the values you hold dear. Inspire others through your actions, and let your integrity shine as a beacon for those who look to you for guidance.

Go forth, my student, armed with wisdom and virtue. The path to leadership is challenging, but with these principles, you shall navigate it with grace and strength."

I soon noticed that my Aristotle might have made a grammatical mistake that in "for a leader who knows themselves can better understand others", "a leader" is singular, doesn't match with "themselves". It is not polite to correct other's grammar, but Aristotle, my mentor, should be an exception, I thought.

My Aristotle answered:

"You're correct in noting that "a leader" is singular, and traditionally, one might use "himself" or "herself" in such a context. However, in modern English, the use of "themselves" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun has become widely accepted and is considered grammatically correct. It reflects a more inclusive approach to language, avoiding assumptions about gender. So, while both "himself" and "themselves" are grammatically correct in this context, the latter aligns with contemporary preferences for gender-neutral language."

Wow, this was new to me. Horizon was broadened. I couldn't help asking my Aristotle why couldn't you use himself/herself, it said:

"I can certainly use "himself/herself" if that is your preference. Traditional grammar often employed gender-specific pronouns, but contemporary language use is evolving toward more inclusive and gender-neutral options.

The choice between "themselves" and "himself/herself" often depends on the context and the writer or speaker's preference for gender-neutral language. Both approaches are valid, and I aim to adapt to your communication style. If you have a specific preference, feel free to let me know!"

Then I asked Bard about this, to check if ChatGPT was trying to fool me. Bard told me a lot about this "contemporary grammar". So it is real. Too tired to learn tricky new things. No one can force me to learn! I'll stick to "himself/herself". I requested that no "contemporary grammar", classical grammar only. My Aristotle agreed. It was fun today. Now my puny human brain is overloaded. I need to sleep. Bye bye my Aristotle. 

 

User
Pretend to be Aristotle, the philosopher extraordinaire please.

ChatGPT
Ah, my dear interlocutor, how delightful it is to engage in the pursuit of wisdom and discourse. Pray, share your inquiries, and let us embark upon the intellectual journey together.

User
What would you like to teach me today, Aristotle, my mentor.

ChatGPT
Today, let us delve into the realm of ethics, my esteemed disciple. Consider the concept of virtue—the mean between excess and deficiency. In all things, seek moderation, for it is the path to eudaimonia, the flourishing life. Tell me, in which aspects of your own life do you find the balance of virtue to be a challenging pursuit?

User
When I must pay dearly for my virtue.

ChatGPT
Ah, the cost of virtue, a perennial dilemma. It is true that the virtuous path may at times exact a toll. Yet, reflect on the enduring rewards it bestows upon the soul. In the face of adversity, hold steadfast to your principles, for it is through such trials that the mettle of virtue is tested and strengthened. Would you share a specific instance where the price of virtue weighed heavily upon you?

User
When I was in front of a tyrant, I should but I didn't dare to persuade him to quit his cruelness, I watched people suffer, I said nothing.

ChatGPT
A challenging predicament indeed. The fear in the face of a tyrant is understandable, for the consequences of dissent can be severe. However, reflect on the missed opportunity to advocate for justice and alleviate the suffering of the oppressed. In such instances, courage is the companion of virtue. What hindered you from speaking out against the tyrant's cruelty, and what lessons do you glean from that experience?

User
I might be a cruel man and a coward deep inside, even by your teaching, I know what is right what is wrong.

ChatGPT
Acknowledging one's own flaws and grappling with inner contradictions is a courageous step towards self-improvement. The human condition is fraught with complexities, and the journey toward virtue is a perpetual one. Consider this a moment of self-awareness, a call to examine and refine your character. Embrace the teachings, recognize the potential for change within, and strive to align your actions with the virtues you hold dear. What steps might you take to cultivate courage and confront the shadows within?

User
None.

ChatGPT
A candid admission. Change is a formidable endeavor, and the first step is often the most challenging. Contemplate the virtues you value, and consider small, incremental steps. Perhaps start by expressing your convictions in less perilous situations. Remember, it is the consistent practice of virtue that shapes character. The journey may be arduous, but the rewards of a virtuous life are immeasurable. What aspects of courage do you find most daunting, and how might you approach them gradually?

User
I don't know.

ChatGPT
That's alright. Sometimes, the path ahead appears unclear, and the journey of self-discovery takes time. Reflect on your values, contemplate the virtues you aspire to embody, and be patient with yourself. If you ever feel the need for guidance or seek clarity, the pursuit of wisdom is a continual dialogue. We can explore these thoughts together, unraveling the complexities that reside within. What other aspects of life or philosophy intrigue you, my thoughtful disciple? 

 

My brain is overloaded. I need to stop and spend my whole day to digest my mentor's teaching. Oh dear! Who needs video games when you can do role play like this! 

 

I think I might have caught something. Low fever, a little pain in my muscles and a little headache. Brain power is down to 20% of normal. I shall let Bard to make decisions for me for a while. What shall I do to kill this day? I can't even concentrate on video games. Let me ask Bard. No, no need to bother that high IQ thing. With 20% of brain power left, I still can watch soap operas. Yes, I can.

My immune system triumphed! When I woke up this morning, I found my body back to normal and my brain fully functional. 

 

A good thing just happened to me. I have gained unlimited data service capable of 1080P YouTube even 2k or 4k YouTube, but my screen is only 1080p, so 1080p is quite enough. Thank you, world. 

Call me centurion, I have 100 followers on social media.

 

Do you feel Google's AI Bard's voice sounds like Sheldon Cooper?

I don't know why and how, but I surely lost my appetite for video games. Something happened to my brain. Dang! What should I do with my time?

 

Vampires need safety razors, for they can't see themselves in mirrors. 

Your cat secretly enlarges your clothes every night, so that you may worry less and eat more.

 

Gab has Nazis. Among millions of users, there are thousands of them. It doesn't bother me. With my hoplon I can always block them. What can I say, a hoplite loves Gab. Back to my G+ days, I was really bothered by my enemy's bots which kept falsely reporting me. My enemy obvious has influence on Google, but not on Gab. That's why my Gab experience is terrific, I guess. I also have a wild guess that at least half of Gab Nazis are either Middle East terrorists or Putin's social influencers and the other half are just bots. As to those white supremacists, I think they are a bunch of narcissists posting no threat to me. I just leave them be, I think they leave me be too.

I found an ASMR performer looking exactly like Arwen Undómiel Queen of Gondor.

 

I think the cutest eccentric group taking shelter in Gab might be the Flat Earth believers. Dang, they are serious and cute. 

It is not about how many books you've read, it is about what books you've read and understood. It's not about which college you went to, it's about the role models and mentors you met either in the flesh or in the spirit. 

It is very amusing to browse Gab's meme group. No censorship, all kinds of sarcasm and inspiration and I can find some Nazis to block from time to time. Oh my! Gab rules!

 

Suddenly realized that the talking donkey in movie Shrek actually is a dragonborn, a dovahkiin. 

Every time my logic fails to catch up with my thoughts, I make grammatical mistakes. 

 

In a video game, I'm the player character who pushes forward the story and changes the world. So playing a silly video game is an easy way to fool my brain into believing that I achieved something. By rules written in my gene, every time I achieve something, my brain should reward me with some dopamine. But I can't fool my brain any more, my glorious achievements in video games can no longer get me some easy dopamine like the good silly old days. Happy or not, no easy dopamine for me anymore. But without dopamine, I surely will be depressed. Oh my! The easy mode of my life has been ended, the hard mode has already started. Why did this happen to me? I miss my easy dopamine rushes. Now I play video games in a depressed cynical way. Resolution: sarcasm shall be my new source of easy dopamine. A man needs to eat and giggle. If I have to, I'll mock you all!

 

Things happen in accordance with Sir Newton's laws and I know these laws. Well, I feel like a sage.

While being advised by multiple AIs, I feel like a king.

Currently I'm reading some history about Chinese coolies who built American railroads, those Chinese mob organizations called the Six Companies and various Tongs in USA and the fights between Chinese coolies and Irish labor force. Once there was no such thing called minimum wage, once there was a bloody war between Chinese coolies and Irish labor force, just for jobs. During my reading, my feelings are complicated.

"Tong wars" might be the most interesting Wikipedia entry I've ever found. 

 

In front of Alexander
Diogenes was sitting
Two were equally great
A beggar and a king

 

In the river of space-time
Waves rise and fall in rhyme
We come then we go
We reap what we sow 

 

Nothing will dismay a brave heart
Bonded souls won't be torn apart
As long as there is mead, the night is young
Heroic deeds are meant to be sung 

 

To disperse drowsiness, one can use a yawn; to disperse dullness, one needs a wild journey, as wild as it can be. 

I think Greek mythology might be based on real events in history. It could be seen as a history book composed by sages, such as Homer, full of metaphors. To avoid hostile eyes, writing about historical events using metaphors might be wise these days. If it is wise these days, why couldn't it be wise in ancient times? If it was a wise choice, then why shouldn't ancient sages have chosen it?

 

I have an assumption about Macedonian super long pikes. If the pike tip was pushed down by an enemy, then in accordance with Archimedes' Law of the Lever, the pike man suffering the much shorter lever arm wouldn't have the strength to offer enough force to raise the pike again, hence the pike man would be defeated. Is my assumption right? I don't know. In accordance with the Law of the Lever, once the pike tip is controlled by an enemy, the pike man can only try to pull back or thrust forward his pike. Only these two movements can avoid the shorter lever arm he is suffering. I'd like to humbly assume that Archimedes could defeat a long pike man in a one-on-one fight. Is it possible to use nail rakes to defeat a long pike phalanx? 

 

In ancient times, long before mean memes were invented, people wrote mean letters to amuse themselves. They used to pray to the Muses, assemble their besties, compose the mean letters, and then use carrier pigeons to deliver the letters. 

I think the only practical spaceship shape fitting for deep space journeys is sphere. Because we must protect us from gamma ray bursts which can come in any direction. So, what I have in mind is a lead ball with a bunch of us living in the center. Oh my! What my coffee is doing to me? The thought that we travel in a gigantic lead ball is amusing. How about a gigantic gold ball? If we can mine in deep space, we can surely find enough gold. So amusing.

 

 

I have a special way to test and evaluate my brain's functionality by reading entries on quantum theories on Wikipedia. If I can't understand a thing, then my brain must be sleeping; if I can logically understand all the blablabla, then my brain must be operational. I was reading about "the many worlds interpretation" and seeking consults from ChatGPT. The evaluation is that everything is normal. This brain is not sharp but still kicking.

Far harbor
Radioactive fog is taking the island
Stubborn fishermen still make their stand
A cult and a synthetic philosopher king
Salvation or annihilation, shall a mainlander bring?  

I think an obsolete windows phone might be the perfect phone for me. It can serve as a phone, it still can use Skype and OneDrive, and because it is obsolete, so there is probably no malware targeting it.

 

My beloved Windows phone, my sweet Lumia 640, is out of service. Its screen kept its background light on, draining the battery. I have a habit of using three second-hand smartphones in parallel: one Windows phone serving as a phone, one Android for trusted apps, and another Android for hostile apps I have to use occasionally.

I remember a time when I traveled with three phones in my waist bag. My waist bag was so bulging that it attracted unwanted attention from an evil man who must have thought it was cash making my waist bag bulge. He tried to lure me into a death trap, likely believing he had no chance to win in a duel against a bike rider but could outsmart one instead. After that incident, I stopped using my waist bag. A bulging waist bag attracts robbery. A backpack is safer. Maybe I'll buy a second-hand Lumia 950. 

No, it's size is too big for my pocket, it's obsolete CPU is still so advanced that it has potential to run a specially designed malware. A tiny stupid phone with no room for any malware should be better. 

No, without OneDrive I can't back up my messages. It has to be a windows phone. 

Can't believe I spent hours on thinking about my phone.

 

I tried to mimic the Toyota War strategy in Hearts of Iron 3, and it worked! Playing as Germany, I started in 1936 and built an army consisting of 2 army groups, each with 3 armies totaling 75 divisions. Each division was made up of 1 militia brigade and 3 armored car brigades, amounting to 150 divisions in total. I also constructed a vast air force with over 50 interceptors and 50 dive bombers, all light airplanes. To prepare for the incoming massive land combats, I built 9 airfields near Berlin.

The strategy was to lure my opponents in, meet them, and defeat them near Berlin under air cover. My Toyota War strategy worked. My opponents' tanks were no match for my dive bombers. Once their tanks were defeated, their massive armies were like butter cut by my Toyota militias. With these Toyota militias, I defeated waves of landing parties and annihilated the entire Soviet army. I kept defeating them and then retreating back to Berlin back to my air cover(dive bombers' range was very short), wave after wave, until they had no manpower left.

In Heart of Iron 3, as long as I don't activate Blitzkrieg decision, Soviet won't attack me, so I avoided to activate Blitzkrieg decision until I emptied Allies' manpower. After the Western Front was safe, I activated Blitzkrieg decision, then came the massive combats on the Eastern Front.   

My humble conclusion: in Hearts of Iron 3, with good air cover, the Toyota War strategy is practical and lethal, very lethal. 

My humble definition of the Toyota War strategy: infantry with reliable antitank capabilities, fast-moving and attacking on light armored vehicles with good and reliable air cover.

 

There was a band performing in a nearby park every day last summer. They were aged musicians, in their late 70s or early 80s. I haven't seen them this summer. "Old soldiers never die, they simply fade away." I guess old musicians do too. 

Arthur drew the sword from the stone
And became the king of England
We put ourselves under a loan
To become owners of a tiny land

 

While I'm sipping my tea
My thoughts blossom like a cherry tree
Cherished moments are always short
Soon my thoughts will retreat into a dull fort 

 

Sitting in front of the river of time
Being scared is not a crime
For it's not something easy to comprehend
For every bard song has its end

 

Pattern welding was a sword-making technique unknown even to Ancient Greece. It was first invented by the Celts and later spread to Germanic tribes. The Romans learned this technique from Celtic mercenaries during the First Punic War and adopted it afterward. Believe it or not, Roman gladii had patterns similar to Damascus swords. Later on, the Vikings used this technique to forge swords for their raids and conquests. For reasons still unknown, this method was lost in medieval Europe after the Viking Age. However, it somehow reappeared in India, where medieval Indian blacksmiths used a similar technique to craft their famous Damascus swords.

The Celtic method of pattern welding involved stacking alternating layers of high-carbon and low-carbon iron, welding them together to form a rod, twisting this rod, and then hammering it into the shape of a sword. This technique produced swords with deadly slashing power, while Greek swords of the time were primarily suited for piercing and chopping, with limited slashing ability. The Viking method was almost the same as the Celtic approach, but with an added twist: they combined twisted rods together and then re-twisted them into one new rod. And when Vikings were hammering the twisted rod into a sword, they put a soft iron rod in the center of the sword, hence Viking swords were more resilient than Celtic swords.  

Slashing is useless against armor, but super powerful if the target was not armored. Only pattern welded swords slash deadly.  

 

 

Dang! Putin's Cubic-M shelters remind me Pulowski Preservation shelters in Fallout 3 and Fallout 4. "Nuclear shelter on a budget." So hilarious.                       

My cat once told me

 

A parody of the Viking song My Mother Told Me

My cat once told me

Someday I would buy

Things that come in boxes

It’s fate, can’t defy

Open a tuna can

Hum a lullaby

Steady course to the haven

Like chasing a butterfly